Friday, November 14, 2008

Having Compassion

For about a year and a half, I have sponsored a child through Compassion International. Her name is Scarle, she is six-and-a-half years old, and she lives in Peru. According to the info on my sponsor account, the average monthly income in her community is about $96. Lately the Lord has been challenging me to expand my faith and take on a second sponsorship (something I've wanted to do for a while but have been afraid to do because of my extremely unpredictable income). Last night I took the plunge.

I wanted an older child who'd been waiting for a long time for a sponsor, so I did a search. Only about half-a-dozen faces popped up, and one in particular drew me. She was the only young woman who showed up in the search. Her name is Allen, she is seventeen and lives in Uganda. She is in about seventh grade (when I was seventeen, I was in the middle of a challenging high school curriculum!) and the average monthly income in her area is $3. Yes, I said three dollars a month. That's less than I pay for a Starbucks cup of coffee, which only lasts about half an hour if you drink it slowly! All I could think was how incredibly privileged we are here in the United States, that we'd spend more on a single drink than some people make in a month. Incredible! I can only imagine how far my measly $32 per month will go in Uganda. From what I could tell, Allen has been waiting since at least last December for a sponsor, and I am glad to be able to meet her need. I just wish I could see her face when they tell her she's been sponsored.

Monday, November 3, 2008

election time

Elections are tomorrow. Many people are voting, many especially who have never done so before. In a day or two, we'll have a good idea of who will be our next president (though I understand there has to be some wait to know for sure, something about the electoral college). And we may have made the gravest mistake we could possibly have made.

I have held back for some time on discussing my concerns about this election, because I believe in examining evidence (NOT rhetoric) and coming to a conclusion based on those observations. And while my observations may not lead me to be excited about the candidate I am voting for, they do lead me to have deep concerns about the candidate I will NOT be voting for.
This candidate, for whom I am not voting, has incredible charisma, the likes of which have not been seen perhaps in decades. He speaks words of hope and change, all the while failing to openly disclose just what "change" he intends to make.

This candidate has caused an unease in my spirit for months, since long before it was decided who would be the actual candidates for the parties. This candidate's meteoric rise to political stardom is stunning, and disconcerting. This candidate would, I believe, create hardships for Christianity not yet seen in America. Perhaps the prayers of the Chinese church will soon come true-perhaps we will soon be facing strong persecution, and perhaps the church will begin to pray and fast and return to her first love. Why do I say he would create hardships for Christianity? Well, Christianity and Biblically-based beliefs oppose much of what he stands for, and even much of the far-left agenda. I have already seen his supporters attacking those who oppose him, and have seen many good people appear to have "the wool pulled over their eyes" regarding this candidate. His rise to prominence is unprecedented...and that, too has me concerned.

Father, I pray you'd hear my words and the words of so many of my brothers & sisters in You. I pray You'd move on the hearts of the people of this country to vote for the candidate who will allow Your work to continue unhindered, that we may continue to spread the Gospel over this earth. Please place Your hand upon this election, please move the hearts of Your people, please uncover their eyes that they be not deceived! And more than anything else, Father, I pray You would have mercy upon this nation...for what I fear we are about to do.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Reflections on a year gone by...

I'm 23 today! Yay! Yikes! Yay!

It has been quite a year, with many changes, both good and bad. I was Initiated into my [women's] fraternity. My sister moved back to Tennessee and then back to North Carolina a few months later. I experienced joys and frustrations, happiness and sorrows, love and extreme dislike, and most everything in between. I never got to go to Texas as a 22-year-old, the first year since I was 18 that has happened. I made some friends and said goodbye to others, found myself (mostly unexpectedly) in leadership roles, was prophesied over and prayed over, watched friends marry or give birth (mostly from a distance), prayed for my someday beloved and learned more about the One who calls me Beloved. So, now that this crazy-hectic-never-to-be-repeated year has ended, where does birthday number 23 find me?

Here, for now. A few weeks ago I applied for a Global Expeditions trip and two Saturdays ago, I was accepted to go-to Azerbaijan. I wasn't sure it would be able to happen, but since that day, the Lord has been working on me, as I've spent more time with Him, awakening within me things that have long lain dormant-wishes, desires, dreams, and hopes, but most of all, and more importantly, Love.

When I was at the Honor Academy, and after I graduated, one of my most frequent prayers was, "Lord, break my heart for the things that break Yours. I want to see people as You see them, not as I see them, I want to feel for them what You feel for them, and I want to love them as You love them." The Lord taught me a great deal about brokenness in that year, and grew within me a deep, abiding love for the nations-all nations-and the people within them.

It's been a long time since I prayed that prayer. I wish that weren't true, but it is, and my heart has been toughened & hardened since I stopped praying it. I'm not even sure how long it's been since I stopped praying that prayer-months, perhaps a year or more. But in recent days, the breaking has begun anew. Little cracks in the wall, the dam that my heart has somehow become, and I know that soon the cracks will become bigger cracks, and bigger ones, and finally break the whole thing down if I allow Him to do it-and I want Him to. The deeper His love within me for people and for the nations, the straighter I'm able to keep my priorities. Otherwise, other stuff creeps in-stuff I'd like to have, and stuff I want-because I forget ever-so-quickly that this life is not about me.

Back in December, after a night of great presence of the Lord in our church, I was prophesied over, and this is what was spoken: "The nations are to become your priority. No longer are relationships to be your main priority, but the nations, and what I am calling you to." That thought has been within me, growing roots and taking hold, because I would be content to remain here in the States for years doing one thing after another, before I'd do what I know I am called to. But souls hang in the balance, and they are too important, too precious, too beloved for me to ignore the calling on my life. Yes, it means I'll have to make sacrifices, and yes, it means I don't get to do all I want, have all I want, gain the recognition I'd like to have for my achievements. Yes, it's going to hurt to give some of those wants up. But people's lives are too important for me to care the most about me.

As I face the growing possibility of a transfer to another school, the possibility of going to nursing school within the year, the possibility of being on the mission field (part-time or full-time) within as few as five years (after gaining nursing experience in the States first), the possibility of paying off my student loan debt (and hopefully not gaining any more), my heart steps slowly out of the timidity to which it is accustomed and begins to step into this new season. It's been a long time since I've had to trust the Lord this fully. But as He's spoken to me several times the last week or so-and will likely speak to me again-"You only see all that you are giving up, but I see all you have to gain."

It's time to stop thinking logically and start thinking faithfully. And I want to do that, in ever greater measure, because it is required for the life God has in store for me-if I obey him and follow His leading. My dad started my birthday off by having us take Communion at midnight-a very auspicious beginning to a new phase of life-the phase where I begin to move into my calling. To close, I want leave you with what my dad emailed me-right after midnight on this, my 23rd birthday-with only a tiny part cut out because I'm not authorized to share it with the world yet. :)

"My Dear Sweet Bethany!

"I want to take this time to wish you a very, very Happy Birthday! Your 22nd year was full of adventure and interesting developments. May your 23rd year be the very best you've ever had. May you find joy, peace, contentment, and lot's of fun as you enjoy life, friends, family, and the world around you. I bless you, in the name of Jesus of Nazareth. May you be blessed in your walk with God, your friends, your family. May you find strength and joy in His presence. May you increase in your knowledge of Him, may the joy of knowing Him increase in you. May you be blessed in all you do.

"We love you,

"Mom & Dad

"(This of course, is from Dad.)"


P.S. I'm looking forward to Azerbaijan next summer! ;-)

Friday, September 19, 2008


Since today is apparently International Talk Like a Pirate Day, I thought I'd do a small pirate-y post in honor of that. Ahoy mateys! I be needin' ta know how you're doin' so you'd best be a-lettin' me know!

Okay that's all. I'm not very accomplished at Pirate-speak, as I am not a pirate and never wanted to be (I wanted to be a gypsy, which is similar but somewhat different than a pirate, as gypsies do tend to be thieves and pickpockets but rarely shoot or stab their victims or send their ships to the bottom of the ocean). I myself have been very busy of late, hence the lack of posting, but I would like to begin posting more frequently, the way I used to before I stopped getting comments on my blogs. ;-)

Here's hoping that you and yours are blessed and well and finding favor with our Lord.


Friday, September 5, 2008

hurricane a'comin!

So Tropical Storm Hanna is moving right this way, and the college has suspended all activities for today and tomorrow, which means that I, effectively, have nothing to do! Well, after classes and work tonight (which hopefully shouldn't go late enough to be affected by the storm coming). I guess that means it's time for me to update.

This summer, I have: been given a car (have I mentioned this already? I forget-that's what happens when you don't blog very often, you forget what you've blogged about!). I have been gifted with some surprise money; given an additional scholarship; had a job fall into my lap; made new friends; and started the ball rolling on the Honors Club of which I am president. And it's only the second week of school! Granted, the last 2.5 weeks have been enough to make anybody feel a little crazy, but things are starting to fall into a routine and I am adjusting my schedule so I hopefully will not continue feeling overwhelmed. I also, after a very bad day Monday, discovered an amazing (and now favorite) drink: a Starbucks white chocolate mocha (decaf) with raspberry flavoring added and whipped cream on top. Mmmmm!

I also realized about three or four weeks ago that I have not given generously in quite some time. The tighter money has gotten, the more I have held onto it rather than giving it as I should. I decided to change that and began giving more (beyond my tithe, which has been given all along) and gave an amount that was fairly substantial for me (i.e. I couldn't really afford it). However, within days of doing that, I recieved a good bit of surprise money and literally had a job fall into my lap-one that fits well within my schedule. So now I work as a cashier at a little restaurant less than a mile from my house.

The Dead Sea Scrolls are at the Museum of Natural History in Raleigh. I am going to try to put together a trip for the Honors Club to go and see them. How awesome would that be?

I guess that's enough for now. It's not particularly funny or exciting or interesting, but that's basically life in a nutshell right now (the post, not the funny/exciting/interesting). I am also trying to decide the best way to continue my education, but keep going back and forth on my choices. Hmmm.


Tuesday, September 2, 2008

a confession...

I am a posting slacker. There, I admitted it.

In other news, I have lots to catch up on with you guys, but I will do it later...after class, dinner, our recruitment party, and the homework I haven't done for my statistics & research methods class that's due tomorrow.

And with that lack of an update, I bid you adieu.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

fireflies dancing in the dusk

So, it's hot. Summer is here in Carolina in full force and the sweltering heat makes it easy to want to stay indoors and drink cold drinks. It's rained a good bit this summer, more than the last couple summers combined, I think, which is wonderful. We've needed the rain badly. Sometimes the rain comes in dreary clouds that turn the sky gray and it drizzles down, soaking the ground gently. Other times it comes roaring in ferociously, putting on impressive shows of light and sound, falling with such intensity it's as if someone were dumping giant buckets of water over the earth. Either way, the rain is a welcome relief from the bright sun and heat. And of course, it's a delight to watch the fireflies come out to play after the sun has gone to rest.

I've been working a bit (though I could use more) and relaxing, preparing for the coming school year that will start in August. I still have many things to do before then, when I will assume more responsibility and leadership in some of my organizations. I do look forward to seeing my friends and sorority sisters again.

My sister and her husband have moved back from Tennessee and have been trying to get work and living arrangements worked out. We also dog-sat for a friend of my parents who moved from halfway across the country. All I have to say is that dog is cute but stubborn, and I'm glad I'm not responsible for him anymore.

My fishies are doing well, though I've had a few casualties. My betta Josiah, who came with me from Texas last summer, passed last month, as did Kate the snail, who also came from Texas. One-eyed Willie is doing great, and I have a new betta who doesn't have a name yet. He's gorgeous though. I feel kind of nerdy talking about my fish in my blogs, but they are my pets and I love them. They're lots of fun and very interactive. Maybe sometime I'll post a link to the video of my mom's fish who allows us to pet him. He's a character.

For the first time in four years, I am not in Texas. By this time in the summer, every summer since 2004 when I first went to Panama with Global Expeditions, I've been in Texas (or otherwise with Teen Mania). In 2005 I was an intern, working in the SAC (Student Activity Center), serving meals to all of the missionaries and campers who came through there. That was my favorite job of all time at Teen Mania, and I loved it.

In 2006 I returned to volunteer and spent the summer mostly on custodial, but occasionally on K-crew. I cleaned lots of toilets, swept lots of floors, and served lots of food. It was great. I went to as many GE sessions as I could manage, saw Skillet in concert, and heard Tim & Will from Travel the Road speak. That was a fantastic summer. I also went to Mexico for two weeks, which was a very stretching experience-more so than even ESOAL, because it lasted for two weeks. Being sick for two weeks before the trip (and trying desperately to get well), then going full speed ahead into GE mode where we were going continuously from early morning to late night and getting an average of five hours of sleep (which brought the cold back in full force) did NOT make that a fun trip. Regardless, the Lord did a lot, taught me a lot, showed me a lot, and I grew to love a lot of people. And the upside is that I couldn't smell anything when we were at the dump! (I still remember the day I sniffed and realized my sinuses had cleared enough for me to smell the stench as we drove past-I was so excited, and told everybody, "Hey, I can smell again!")

Last summer, I went to The Call in Nashville, staying with my sister who lived near there, and a week later went to my old roomie Lisa's wedding. It was beautiful. Then I drove to Texas, expecting four more weeks of toilet-cleaning, floor-sweeping, and food-serving. I did a grand total of one day of toilet cleaning, then was unexpectedly pressed into service as a volunteer counselor. Now that was an adventure. I was a little surprised, because that was the first leadership position I'd been put into at Teen Mania (excepting my experiences as a missionary advisor with GE), and it was, again, totally unexpected. I loved it. Well, most of it... I had a delightful group of volunteer girls and fun hanging out with my fellow volunteer counselors. I didn't have as much time as I'd hoped to spend with old friends from my intern days, but it was okay. I knew before I came that the Lord was bringing me to Texas for a specific purpose, though I'd had no idea what it was, and I think my "take life as it comes" attitude was helpful in making the necessary adjustments. I also saw the wedding of my first brother core CA Brandon (also a beautiful wedding).

Now we are up to summer 2008. It's hot, it's beautiful, and I've no money to go to Texas. I was pretty heartsore when I realized that would be the case, but sometimes things just don't work out the way we'd wish them to. It would have been wonderful to return to my favorite little corner of the world, see a few old friends, make new ones, and eat as many sno-cones as I could hold, but hey-there's always next summer! By then, most of my friends from Teen Mania will be gone, having moved on to the next stage of their lives, and I won't know much of anyone there, but there will be new friends to make.

I'm not really sure why I'm writing all of this, but it's been a very long time since I sat and put my swirling thoughts into order like this (if this can, indeed, be called order), and it needed doing. I still miss Texas and can't wait to return, but the Lord is ordering my steps, even if they don't always lead where I'd wish them to go.

May the Lord bless you and keep you. May He make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you, and may He give you peace.


Monday, June 30, 2008

I am a lazy blogger

But I did want to have a post in June, so here it is. :-)

I do promise an update soon.


Sunday, May 18, 2008

I found it!!!

My Honor Ring, which has been MIA for...months-since sometime in December or January-has been FOUND! YAY!!!!! *and the world rejoiced*

Thursday, May 15, 2008

101 things...

I’ve seen this done before, but have never done it myself. So I decided I would inform you, my four faithful readers, of a few things you may not know about me. One hundred and one things, to be exact.

  1. My sixteen-year-old sister and I are NOT twins, believe it or not :-)
  2. My favorite colors are purple, pink, and yellow, in that order, though I pretty much love color no matter what shade it is. But purple is and always has been my favorite color, since diaperhood.
  3. I am an artist.
  4. I am creative.
  5. I like to work with my hands.
  6. I’ve never figured out how to do computer-graphics-stuff.
  7. However, I make some really sweet paintings and jewelry. :-)
  8. I like fish. Not only are they tasty to eat, they also make fun pets (but please don’t eat your pets!). I have…several…
  9. I sleep on a pallet on the floor and not in a real bed. Why? It makes me feel like I’m overseas, doing what I’m supposed to be doing…and not “stuck” here in the U.S. That, and I’ve nowhere to put a “real” bed.
  10. I am astoundingly talented at disorganization and junk-collecting. By that I mean that every time I clean my room, it takes only 48 hours to undo the cleaning. I’ve never figured that one out. And I have enough junk to supply a small country. I’m trying to get rid of a lot of it…which will take a while.
  11. I love France. I love speaking French (what I can remember from my high school days) and I love eating French things, like baguettes and brie. I especially love the AMAZING city of Paris. :-)
  12. I love Asia. By that, I mean it is almost an obsession. I might even try to live there someday, even if only for a couple of months. South Asia, central Asia, southeast Asia—I love all of it. I was heartbroken when I couldn’t go to Sri Lanka a few years ago, thanks to a serious lack of funds. And I’ve been planning to go to India for a decade.
  13. I like to collect things from foreign countries. I like it the most when I’m the one doing the collecting, but having other people bring me back things is perfectly acceptable. If you’re travelling, you should bring me something! :-D
  14. I like to read. I have books stacked two deep on my bookshelf in my room, and a number of others boxed away in storage.
  15. I don’t date. Thanks to Ron Luce’s challenge at ATF my junior year of high school (to spend a year “dating” God rather than another person), I came to see relationships as an accessory rather than a necessity, and on my trip to Panama the summer after senior year, I made the decision not to randomly date around but to wait for the man I would marry. Five years down, ____ many more to go!
  16. My younger sister is married. Yes, it was a little weird at first. No, I do not know when I’m getting married, and no, there is not a “special someone” in my life. I’ll get married when I’m forty. So stop asking. :-P
  17. My youngest sister (she hates to be called the baby) is not married. If she were, I’d kill the guy (she’s only sixteen!). Well, maybe not kill him, but…
  18. I once had a great, wonderful, amazing little car named Baby. She was a 1989 BMW 325 and I adored her. And then she died, leaving me heartbroken and stranded. Now I drive my sister’s old car Simon. He eats more gas than Baby did, which my wallet does not appreciate.
  19. I have magic eyes. They change color depending on the lighting, my mood, what color I’m wearing, etc. The official color of my amazing, magic eyes is “gray-blue-green-hazel-with-a-gold-ring-in-the-middle.” I really do have a golden ring around my pupils. I tell people I’m rich. :-D
  20. I hate pickles. I think they look nasty, smell nasty and taste nasty. If you ever eat with me at Chik-fil-a and I get a chicken sandwich, you are welcome to my pickles. Do not ever put pickles in my food. I will not appreciate it.
  21. I like to cook. Actually, I love to cook and I hate to clean up afterward. I’ll cook for you if you’ll clean up the [[rather large]] mess I make. I can make ramen, Kraft mac & cheese, pb&j…
  22. Actually, I can cook more than pre-packaged foods. My creativity and artistry are not limited to traditional crafty things. I like to invent things in the kitchen (scary, I know), and 95% of the time, they come out right tasty! Yum! Usually my concoctions involve every spice in the cabinet, plus a few that aren’t…just kidding! But I use a lot of garlic and Italian seasonings so I hope you like Italian!
  23. I like chicken. I subscribe to the Chik-fil-a cow’s philosophy—eat more chicken!
  24. I love seafood. Yum! Shrimp, crawfish, calamari (YUM), clams, various types of fish—I like it all! Well, except those nasty stuffed crab things…yuck! I also love sushi.
  25. I like eggs. They are an excellent source of protein (one of the most complete sources of protein, in fact) and can be cooked a number of different ways. Mmm I am getting hungry describing all this food!
  26. I can bake some cakes and cookies from scratch. And they’re good.
  27. I’m hungry right now, hence the fixation on food. :-)
  28. I love to drive out on the open highway. Why do you think I’ve driven to Texas the last two summers—by myself? Though it would be great fun to have someone to drive with…
  29. I once scored evenly on all five love languages on a love-languages test. My response? “I guess I just love to be loved!”
  30. I am a silly, goofy girl, and I love me for it. You should as well.
  31. I am a pacifist. Deny it and I’ll beat you up.
  32. My room is a perpetual experiment on the state of messiness.
  33. I, unfortunately, got skipped when the organizational genes were being handed out. I like to call myself “organizationally challenged.”
  34. However, if you really want to freak me out, you are welcome to come straighten up my stuff. I won’t be able to find a thing, I promise. And that is a bad thing. Of course, there’s no way I have ever experienced this…
  35. I hated math all the way through school and then actually liked the calculus class I took at my community college after I graduated. Weird. Although, I did enjoy math back when it involved using m&m’s as counters.
  36. I am a sorority girl. I am a sister of Phi Mu [[Women’s]] Fraternity. And I love it.
  37. I do not drink alcoholic beverages.
  38. Tobacco smoke stinks.
  39. I have never had a boyfriend. It wasn’t entirely by choice, but it just kind of happened that way.
  40. I love to sing. By that I mean that I sing a lot. Practically every time I’m in the car, I’m singing. I also burst out into made-up-on-the-spot songs at random opportune moments.
  41. My three best characteristics are that I am amazing, beautiful, and humble. I’d have to say, though, that “humble” is probably the word that describes me best.
  42. You’re probably snorting with laughter after that last comment. That’s okay. I do it too. Hence the nickname “Snorty.”
  43. I have freckles. All it takes for me to get more is for sunlight to touch my skin. Just kidding…well, not really…
  44. I also burn easily. Thank you, fair skin. I like spf 60 or so in my sunblock.
  45. My life mission statement can be summed up into three words: love//revolution//consecration. You’ll have to ask if you want more details. ;-)
  46. Despite the massive amounts of junk I own (thank you materialism), I have a minor obsession with small cottages, simple living, and small cars.
  47. Actually, I just have an obsession with small things. I love miniatures—any kind of miniatures. Minature goats, miniature sheep, miniature horses, miniature chickens, miniature llamas…
  48. Did I mention I want my own mini-farm someday? Populated with miniatures of all kinds (including, hopefully, some “miniature humans”).
  49. I want to adopt from overseas—hopefully more than one child. I don’t want to have more of my own children than I have adopted children, because I don’t feel justified bringing children into this world when there are millions already here who have no home, no parents, and no one to tell them about Jesus.
  50. I love kids. I especially love babies. My favorite job ever was when I nannied for a five-month-old baby boy named River. That’s probably also why I want to work in the NICU, caring for newborn infants.
  51. In the Myers-Briggs personality tests, I am an ISFP. That stands for “Incredibly Smart and Funny Person,” which, of course, describes me to a T.
  52. I am a very, very laid-back person. Can you guess which of the four temperaments (sanguine, choleric, phlegmatic, melancholy) I am?
  53. My name, Bethany, means any number of things. My favorite definitions that I’ve found are “grateful spirit,” “house of God,” and “disciple of the Lord.”
  54. My middle name, Erin, means “peace.”
  55. I adore Audrey Hepburn. I absolutely love her grace, her style, and her movies. My sister thinks I look like her, which I find very flattering.
  56. I don’t intend to kiss until I reach the altar. If a man wants to kiss me, he’s got to buy me a set of really pretty rings and make a covenant with me first. If I’ve waited this long for that first kiss, I doubt a few more years is really gonna kill me.
  57. Believe it or not, I do not have my future children’s names picked out. Though I do have fifty or so that I like. :-P
  58. I love turtles, especially sea turtles. I did a project on them my first semester of college, and made this amazing turtle mosaic entirely out of recycled papers. “Way to support the environment, Bethany!”
  59. I love animals. If I had my way, my house would be a zoo. Well, maybe not, but I’d sure like a lot of pets!
  60. I love to travel. By “love,” I mean that if I could do nothing else for the rest of my life, I would die a happy woman. And by happy I mean so ecstatic that words can’t describe it.
  61. If I have gotten to know you well, I can become…uninhibited…around you. If you’ve experienced this, I’m sorry…well, sort of. :-)
  62. I write. I’ve been told I write exceptionally well. Actually, one of my (non-English) professors remarked that the English department at my school thinks I “walk on water” or something because apparently the English department at school loves me?
  63. I write a lot of poetry. Not your traditional rhyming poetry, but lyrical poetry that resounds in my soul. I’ve never displayed much of my poetry online, but occasionally it appears.
  64. I collect wedding magazines. I have a lot. I’m following the old Girl Scout motto, “Be prepared.” :-D
  65. I plan to write a book someday. Have planned, actually, since I was 11 or 12 years old. When it’s published, you must be sure to buy a copy so it will become a best-seller.
  66. I like to take pictures (artist, remember?). Someday I will buy a nice camera so I can take sweet pictures whenever and wherever and not be constrained by the limitations of a little “point-and-shoot” camera. I especially like close-ups (remember the fascination with tiny things?).
  67. I sew. Rather badly, in fact, but I enjoy the satisfaction that comes from wearing something that I made myself. No matter that it takes me a good 11 months from start to finish on any given project.
  68. I love maps. Especially the old-world style of map. I like to look at them and dream of the day when I’ll visit all those places I see.
  69. I want to learn other languages. I once heard of a pastor (in Korea, I believe) who made an effort to learn about 4-5 other languages. His reasoning? “The more languages I can speak, the more languages in which I’m able to preach the Gospel.”
  70. I have a love-hate relationship with my hair. It is thick and blond and has a lot of curl to it. And it is as stubborn as its owner. Only on rare occasions can I get it to do what I’d like it to. I’m too lazy to fight with it all the time, so I just throw it into a clip or a ponytail and go. That’s also why I used to chop my hair off, because it’s such a pain to deal with 98% of the time. It also gets very heavy when it gets long. Speaking of which, it’s time for a haircut. Now where did I put those scissors?
  71. I’m a low-maintenance lady. I rarely wear make up and rarely mess with my hair. I brush it enough to get the tangles out and that’s it. And makeup is pretty much only worn on special occasions. Again, I am very, very laid-back.
  72. I’ve been told by people that I’m about the most laid-back, peaceful person they’ve ever met.
  73. I love vintage. If I could afford it, I’d always be buying vintage clothes off eBay and wearing them.
  74. I have a mild obsession with red shoes and purses. I wear my red heels more than all my other ones put together. Considering how rarely I wear heels, that says a lot.
  75. I love going barefoot.
  76. If I can’t go barefoot, I love to wear my Rainbow sandals. Those were a great investment.
  77. I can drive a stick-shift. My poor old Baby was a stick-shift. I miss her.
  78. I am absolutely fascinated with other cultures. The food, the dress, the customs, and the people all fascinate me. I love learning about new cultures, especially when I’m getting to see them firsthand. :-)
  79. I survived 40 hours and 45 minutes in Rita-ESOAL. Yeah, I’m awesome. :-) (The previous longest ESOAL was 42 hours). (ESOAL stands for Emotionally Stretching Opportunity of A Lifetime. And it was).
  80. ESOAL was also one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. At the same time, it was my favorite LTE (life-transforming event) out of the whole year at Honor Academy.
  81. Teen Mania’s Summer Volunteers are awesome. (I have done it 2 years in a row). Yeah, that means I’m awesome too.
  82. For the most part, I hated being a GE caller. It was definitely stretching for me to have to make all those phone calls everyday, because I hardly even use the phone at all. I did have some amazing conversations, though, and once I was even prophesied over. That was cool.
  83. I am a healer and a bringer of life.
  84. I love people. I really, really love people. I love to know them and befriend them and love them.
  85. I’m not much one for initiating conversation, but I love to talk. Let me, and I’ll talk your ear off. Both of them, actually. Bring band-aids.
  86. I am a warm and friendly person. But I have to “warm up” to you first. I have to get comfortable enough around you to really start to open up.
  87. I am very reserved. Until I get comfortable around you. Then all bets are off. :-)
  88. I am the only one of my sisters (I have two) who does not have brown hair or brown eyes. I am the odd one out. I’m also the oldest. I guess that makes me special.
  89. I do everything slowly. Actually, I prefer to think of it as “deliberately,” but everyone else calls it slow. I say life’s too short to speed through it.
  90. I collect passport stamps. It is unfortunate that I do this as I do everything else (slowly).
  91. I am quirky. Get to know me and you’ll see.
  92. I have an offbeat sense of humor. Sometimes I make obscure references to books or movies and I am the only one who gets them. Oops.
  93. I am also a little bit gullible. Things tend to go “over my head” a lot. Don’t you dare take advantage of that.
  94. I have a list of countries I want to visit. I think there may be three in the world that are not on the list. When I figure out what they are, I shall add them. :-)
  95. I also have a list of things to do before I die. It gets longer as time passes by. I guess that’s a good thing? Wait, does that mean time is moving backwards?
  96. I think I am different from anyone I’ve ever met.
  97. I am trying to learn to hear the Lord’s voice and discern His will. Sometimes it is hard.
  98. I have my doubts about the wisdom of “falling in love.” It sounds rather like when I get distracted, fail to see the obstacle in front of me, and successfully face-plant in front of a group of people on whom I’d hoped to make a good impression. In other words, not a good thing.
  99. I do, however, believe in the concept of making a conscious decision to love (which we should do everyday to one another). I think it’s entirely possible, with careful consideration, prayer and seeking, to “choose” whom it is you’ll marry. Granted, I’m a little inexperienced in this department, so I certainly don’t know everything.

100. On those rare occasions when I make a mistake, I own up to it.

101. I am a daughter of the most high God and he calls me Beloved.

Monday, May 12, 2008

a poem//a prayer

And there will come a day
When nations will dance before you.
In adoration, they'll bow
They desire only to see your face
And they have come to this place
Because of the obedience
Of children like me
To You, our King.

O God, take my life
I've messed it up royally
O God, take my gaze
I've lost my focus
O God, break my heart
For it's become hardened to You
O God, unstop my ears
For I have refused to listen to You,
My Lover, my Prince, my King.

I'm so sorry.
You've only my best interests
And those of the world
In the depths of Your beautiful, magnificent heart
And I've shied away,
Afraid it wasn't really You I was hearing
Afraid of mishearing
And making a mistake I can't undo
And I guess it all boils down to
I'm just afraid of trusting You.

I'm sorry.
I love You.
Take my life [[again]] and make it
Whatever You will.

[[teach me to know Your voice]]

Monday, May 5, 2008

it's getting hot in here...

Our air conditioning has chosen this, the time of year when temperatures are starting to climb, to stop working. It wouldn't be so bad if the house didn't already get warm when it's hot outside (thanks to a giant window on the front, west-facing side). So last night I was playing with the ceiling fan in my room, in hopes of cooling my room just a little (it is also on the front side of the house and gets lots of afternoon sun). My ceiling fan has three speeds: low, medium and high. After experiencing the gale-force winds created by the higher two speeds, I came to the conclusion that the three speeds should be renamed: gentle breeze; tropical storm; and cyclone.


Friday, April 25, 2008

Greek Show tonight! Finally, our weeks & weeks of work & preparation are coming to the climax & culmination-performance in front of pretty much the entire school community. Phew! I'd love to win, but it won't matter if we don't [much] because that's not what life is about.

I have a job interview Monday. W00t!

Waiting to see what financial aid will give me & if I'll be able to come back in the fall...

Looking forward to summer and *hopefully* going to Texas!! [[gas prices STOP going up!!]]

Wondering, waiting, and wishing for things yet to pass...that about describes my life right now.

I got new friends from PetSmart yesterday. Three cherry barbs (small fish), one bright red male and two brownish females. They are so cute! And so shy! Maybe they'll come out soon.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

because I never do these

9 lasts:
Last dollar spent: Well, I went grocery shopping the other day…it was more than a dollar though...
Last cigarette: Ewww.
Last beverage: Water…drinking it right now actually.
Last movie: hmm King Kong & Lara Croft: Tomb Raider were on the other night.
Last phone call: Daddy.
Last bubble bath: Hmm when I was 5?
Last time you cried: Don’t remember…it’s been a while.
Last thing you ate: Macaroni & cheese…yay for processed foods [[not]].
Last real kiss: It’s been a while…somewhere in the vicinity of 22 ½ years to be exact.

8 have you evers.
Have you ever dated a best friend: Have I ever dated, you mean? No.
Have you ever skinny dipped: I am not an exhibitionist, thank you.
Have you ever kissed somebody and regretted it: See #9 under “9 lasts”
Have you ever lost someone you loved: My aunt Melissa died of cancer a few years ago.
Have you ever been dumped: into a swimming pool? Yes, and I hated it.
Have you ever been drunk and threw up: Never had alcohol. Never saw a reason to try it.
Have you ever ran away: From little kids in Mexico & Panama, yes. It’s called “Perro, perro, gato.”
Have you ever wanted someone u thought u couldnt have then found out they liked you: See number 1 under this section.

5 states you've been to. North Carolina (duh), Tennessee, TEXAS!!!, Louisiana, Florida, Alabama…I’ve got the whole southeast U.S. pretty well covered, actually.

6 things you've done today: Overslept, checked email, cleaned up, ate, drank, woke my sister up.

5 of your favorite things in no order: Purple&pink, Asia, God, people, Phi Mu

4 people you can tell [almost] anything to: Snowball, Krysti, Tina, Mom&Dad

3 things that make you smile. Children’s laughter, funny animals, great conversations

2 things you want to do before you die. Save the world. Serve Jesus.

1 one thing you can't live with out: God.

Friday, April 4, 2008

my mom

just made an A in her Federal Taxation II class.

Yeah, she's pretty much a genius.


Thursday, March 27, 2008

the world goes on and on

Two nights ago at school, in center campus, a Christian singer named Jessie Campbell gave a concert. Half the songs she sang are songs I learned at Teen Mania, and it made me a little bit homesick, or nostalgic, or something along those lines. I miss people who talk about God as though He's their best friend. I miss conversations revolving around God, faith, the Bible, etc. I miss that every week, sometimes every day (as happened at the end of my intern year) you could have an amazing conversation at dinner, in the dorms, or just about anywhere else. I miss sharing my heart. I do not, however, miss the demon ants. ;-)

I have six weeks left in school, then exams. I am trying not to think about the amount of work I need to get done between now and then.

BattleCry is this weekend, and I do not have the funds to go. I'm disappointed, but am making plans to go out to Texas again this summer. THAT would be amazing. I'm not able to go on a mission trip (at least, I don't think so), but...

I'm planning to go to the United Arab Emirates. In January. On a school trip. How amazing is that? We'll do all sorts of amazing things-visiting a mosque, learn about Islam from the imams (religious leaders), visit the U.S. Embassy, meet Christians living there (with the opportunity to discuss their experience living in a Muslim nation), visit museums and landmarks, a bazaar, a rural village and even an overnight "desert safari" including a stay in a Bedouin camp. WOW! Wow wow wow wow wow... And the cost, while not set in stone yet, is very affordable, especially with nine months to gather the money. I am so, so, so unbelievably excited about this trip! What an opportunity-to learn about Islam from the leaders themselves...oh, wow! *happysigh*

How are you, friends? I haven't heard from most of you in a while. That means you should drop me a line hello!

Blessings and peace to you.


Monday, March 24, 2008

It's been a while...

I stopped posting on here, first because I got busy, then because I had no desire for a Gmail account...but I missed the blog eventually so I broke down and got a Gmail account. Yeesh.

Too much to report on since my last post on I'll just start fresh.

I should be doing anatomy lab diagrams right now. Instead I'm playing with this site, trying to figure it out.

I have too many aquariums, according to my mother. I have found fishkeeping to be a fun and enjoyable hobby.

I'm a crafty girl. I've got probably four giant Rubber-maid tubs worth of cloth, beads, thread, wire, buttons, paint, brushes, rubber cement, magazine pictures, stickers, scrapbooking materials and more just waiting to be used. Yep, I'm a crafty girl. Too bad my time management needs improving...

I'm still humble. (If you know me, you'll find this entertaining. If you don't, sorry, you probably won't get it).

I cleaned my room. Like, really, really, that's-carpet-I-see clean (and if you've seen my room, you realize what an accomplishment this is). Then I promptly cluttered it up. Right now I see a basket of clean laundry waiting patiently to be folded, a box of craft things to be put away, shoes on the other side of the basket waiting to go in my shoe rack, a messy desk and dresser, and dirty laundry waiting for me to get around to it. Did I mention my time-management skills need improving?

I have a monstrous mystery snail in the tank on my bookshelf. Seriously, s/he's about the size of a golf ball. A purple golf ball that eats algae.

My walls have finally been decorated with lots of my artwork, pictures, postcards, etc. (as opposed to them decorating my floor...).

I love blue poster putty. It rocks.

I love purple, pink, and yellow, in that order.

I've realized the pointlessness of this post and have decided to draw it to a conclusion. Until next time-