Five years ago today (December 16th, 2005) was the culmination and celebration of something that remains one of my proudest accomplishments. Five years ago today, I shook the hands of Ron Luce and David Hasz, posed for pictures and said tearful goodbyes. Five years ago today, I graduated the Honor Academy.
I never wanted to go to the Honor Academy. I was terribly frightened as I walked away from my parents and friends to board the plane that day. I didn't think I could do it--didn't think I was capable of withstanding the physical exertion and level of discipline required at the HA. I thought only amazing, "super-Christians" would be able to succeed there and complete the program. It took the Lord hedging me in to get me to even apply, and it took more maneuvering on His part to get me there and keep me there, in the face of nearly constant financial difficulty. But stay the course I did, with His help and grace, and I found myself finishing what I had started that cold January morning.
The night of graduation, I chose to spend my last night ever in the dorm, sleeping one last time on my bed. I was alone--everyone else had left or joined their families in hotels. I didn't mind. I don't really remember what I did, only that my dad came to get me the next morning. We loaded up the last of my belongings into our little rental car (a new Ford Taurus with which I remain terribly unimpressed), I looked one last time around my room, and we walked out of Carey Hall, got in the car, and started the trek around the loop, stopping one last time to check out at the guardbooth before pulling onto the road and heading for the hotel in Lindale.
The one thing I remember most is the profound sense of "knowing" that permeated my entire being. I knew, that I knew, that I knew, that I would be back someday. I didn't know how or in what capacity--certainly not when--but I knew I would return.
I am excited--nay, elated--to report that after five years of loving and longing for Texas, I will be returning there shortly after New Year's! YAY!!! This is something for which I have longed and prayed and hoped, and I cannot express my excitement. I'll write more about my decision to return later, but for now it is enough to simply say, "I AM moving to Texas!"
May His holy name be praised.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
Dear Sirs,
Yes, I am referring to you. You in the white early 90's model Chrysler minivan. You who honked at me to get my attention and then gave me a very, very cheesy "Heeeeeyyyy girrrrl!" smile and wave, at which point I switched immediately into "IGNORE!!!1!1!!1!" mode. While I appreciate the compliment--that you found me beautiful, or at least my face, at least in profile--I do not appreciate the manner in which you went about expressing your appreciation of my beauty. Such boldness, such a tactless approach, is not the way to win a lovely lady's heart. I assure you, I certainly never considered rolling down my window to "holla back" at you. The very manner in which you went about seeking my attention assured me at the outset that you are not the man for whom I have waited these past twenty-five years. I will certainly not cheapen the relationship experience with the likes of you--who cannot be bothered to know a woman's character before attempting to know her body.
I do hope, at some point, you come to a knowledge of our beautiful Saviour, and that you elect to serve Him all of your days. Until then, I bid thee [a hopefully permanent] farewell.
Sincerely,
One who shall not share with you her name.
I do hope, at some point, you come to a knowledge of our beautiful Saviour, and that you elect to serve Him all of your days. Until then, I bid thee [a hopefully permanent] farewell.
Sincerely,
One who shall not share with you her name.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
anger.
This year has been rough. It's been a difficult year that followed a more difficult year that followed a year that wasn't easy by any means. I'm tired of rough years. I'm ready for a little peace, for people my age to stop dying, for less drama, for less money problems, for less loneliness. Even if it was just for a year or two, just so I could have a little break from all this "hardness." I mean, I get that life is hard, but does it have to be that way all the freakin' time? Cause that's what it feels like it's been for the last several years. Just hard, hard, hard, hard, hard.
Last year was rough because of the challenges of several succeedingly intense semesters of school in a row, compounded with intense grief over the sudden, preventable loss of a friend, and battling feelings of inadequacy when placed in an unfamiliar position of leadership. This year was rough in a much different way.
This year, the Lord asked me to pursue several things which did not come to pass, and I began to doubt my ability to hear His voice clearly. This year, I watched people proclaiming their Christianity both get offended and stab their fellow believers in the back--and gossip shamelessly about the whole thing. This year, I watched up close the hypocrisy of someone who professes Christ while systematically abusing their spouse--mentally, emotionally, and worst of all, spiritually. This individual also treated myself and others like incompetent, idiotic fools. All of this combined made me angry, and I distanced myself from my beloved Jesus. I was afraid of being mistaken, of thinking I was hearing His voice when it was really my own desires being super-imposed over it. So I pulled away.
The first two situations were frustrating and angering, but the third...I have watched this situation from afar for several years, but having it so close at hand made it much more difficult to deal with. Before, I could sort of push it aside since it wasn't right in my face, but now? Not happening. I have never struggled so much in my life. Most days, I could have gleefully throttled the abusive individual. I've never been able to tolerate hypocrisy, and seeing how this individual used the word of God to manipulate others and abuse the spouse--who is someone close to me--made me so mad I wanted to cuss!
More recently, though this couple is divorcing, the abuser--who is so deceived they don't even recognize the hypocrisy of their behavior--has waged a smear campaign against the spouse, and worse, has helped create a serious rift in life-long relationships, causing damage that may never be undone. Some days I genuinely hate this individual--which causes me great difficulty. How can I proclaim to be a lover of Christ if I cannot love even an enemy? How can I ask the Lord's forgiveness if I am unwilling to forgive?
I waffle frequently between heartbreak and hatred--heartbreak at the damage being done; hatred for the one who caused it; heartbreak that this individual believes they have a guarantee of heaven when their behavior indicates it to be dubious at best; hatred for the one who has deceived this individual so. Watching Christians turn their back on and severely castigate the abused spouse has made me want to smack some people with a two-by-four. Seriously? Way to represent Christ, people. Way to go. When non-Christians are acting more like Christ than the Church, something is wrong with this picture. And this--the behavior of these Christians--makes me mad too! Because they, of all people, should know better than to treat ANYONE like an outcast. Makes me want to cuss.
I'm not proud of my response to so many things this year. I've battled a lot of shame. Shame that I couldn't seem to hear God's voice; shame that I could claim to love and yet feel hate for an individual; shame that I couldn't act more like Christ towards this person; shame that I could feel so intensely alone and uncared for, even when I know I'm loved. I've struggled not to step on over into self-condemnation. It has, frankly, been a pretty horrendous year overall.
I haven't written much because frankly, I didn't have much to say that wasn't pretty ugly or depressing or whatever. I don't like to burden others with my problems, and I didn't want to provide more fodder for the gossip mill, but the silence has become suffocating, and I won't keep quiet anymore. Said abusive individual needs to be outed for for the farce they are, and I need an outlet for my anger before I can begin to forgive. And I think it all boils down to needing to forgive Christians for treating other believers so awfully. And I have forgiven, and I will forgive, but it still makes me angry whenever I think about it, and then I have to forgive again. And I need to be able to lay my broken, hurting heart at the feet of Jesus, and let Him make me whole again.
So that's where I am right now. The end of 2010 finds me having battled anger, bitterness, hatred, frustration, loneliness, and shame on a level I never have before. With the coming of 2011, I hope to be moving past that--because I have to let go of that stuff to make room for new things. Out with the old, in with the new!
Jesus, help me let go of the anger, the hatred, the bitterness. I want to forgive this person but every time I do, they do something new and it happens all over again! I want this person revealed for who they truly are, and for the Christians to realize and be ashamed of their behavior in supporting this person's chicanery. I want to forgive them for the part they've played. Help me not to take things in my own hands, and help me to see this individual as You do. I don't think I'm quite ready yet to love them as You love. But someday, maybe.
<3 love, Beth.
Last year was rough because of the challenges of several succeedingly intense semesters of school in a row, compounded with intense grief over the sudden, preventable loss of a friend, and battling feelings of inadequacy when placed in an unfamiliar position of leadership. This year was rough in a much different way.
This year, the Lord asked me to pursue several things which did not come to pass, and I began to doubt my ability to hear His voice clearly. This year, I watched people proclaiming their Christianity both get offended and stab their fellow believers in the back--and gossip shamelessly about the whole thing. This year, I watched up close the hypocrisy of someone who professes Christ while systematically abusing their spouse--mentally, emotionally, and worst of all, spiritually. This individual also treated myself and others like incompetent, idiotic fools. All of this combined made me angry, and I distanced myself from my beloved Jesus. I was afraid of being mistaken, of thinking I was hearing His voice when it was really my own desires being super-imposed over it. So I pulled away.
The first two situations were frustrating and angering, but the third...I have watched this situation from afar for several years, but having it so close at hand made it much more difficult to deal with. Before, I could sort of push it aside since it wasn't right in my face, but now? Not happening. I have never struggled so much in my life. Most days, I could have gleefully throttled the abusive individual. I've never been able to tolerate hypocrisy, and seeing how this individual used the word of God to manipulate others and abuse the spouse--who is someone close to me--made me so mad I wanted to cuss!
More recently, though this couple is divorcing, the abuser--who is so deceived they don't even recognize the hypocrisy of their behavior--has waged a smear campaign against the spouse, and worse, has helped create a serious rift in life-long relationships, causing damage that may never be undone. Some days I genuinely hate this individual--which causes me great difficulty. How can I proclaim to be a lover of Christ if I cannot love even an enemy? How can I ask the Lord's forgiveness if I am unwilling to forgive?
I waffle frequently between heartbreak and hatred--heartbreak at the damage being done; hatred for the one who caused it; heartbreak that this individual believes they have a guarantee of heaven when their behavior indicates it to be dubious at best; hatred for the one who has deceived this individual so. Watching Christians turn their back on and severely castigate the abused spouse has made me want to smack some people with a two-by-four. Seriously? Way to represent Christ, people. Way to go. When non-Christians are acting more like Christ than the Church, something is wrong with this picture. And this--the behavior of these Christians--makes me mad too! Because they, of all people, should know better than to treat ANYONE like an outcast. Makes me want to cuss.
I'm not proud of my response to so many things this year. I've battled a lot of shame. Shame that I couldn't seem to hear God's voice; shame that I could claim to love and yet feel hate for an individual; shame that I couldn't act more like Christ towards this person; shame that I could feel so intensely alone and uncared for, even when I know I'm loved. I've struggled not to step on over into self-condemnation. It has, frankly, been a pretty horrendous year overall.
I haven't written much because frankly, I didn't have much to say that wasn't pretty ugly or depressing or whatever. I don't like to burden others with my problems, and I didn't want to provide more fodder for the gossip mill, but the silence has become suffocating, and I won't keep quiet anymore. Said abusive individual needs to be outed for for the farce they are, and I need an outlet for my anger before I can begin to forgive. And I think it all boils down to needing to forgive Christians for treating other believers so awfully. And I have forgiven, and I will forgive, but it still makes me angry whenever I think about it, and then I have to forgive again. And I need to be able to lay my broken, hurting heart at the feet of Jesus, and let Him make me whole again.
So that's where I am right now. The end of 2010 finds me having battled anger, bitterness, hatred, frustration, loneliness, and shame on a level I never have before. With the coming of 2011, I hope to be moving past that--because I have to let go of that stuff to make room for new things. Out with the old, in with the new!
Jesus, help me let go of the anger, the hatred, the bitterness. I want to forgive this person but every time I do, they do something new and it happens all over again! I want this person revealed for who they truly are, and for the Christians to realize and be ashamed of their behavior in supporting this person's chicanery. I want to forgive them for the part they've played. Help me not to take things in my own hands, and help me to see this individual as You do. I don't think I'm quite ready yet to love them as You love. But someday, maybe.
<3 love, Beth.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
obedience
I am learning obedience to the Lord. To hear His voice and follow His direction, even when it kind of seems a little crazy. I'd followed His direction and attempted some things that fell through, which shook up my confidence in my ability to hear His voice, and for a while I distanced myself, afraid that what I thought I was hearing Him speak was in fact my own imagination. Or something. But the Lord, ever so faithful, has continued to direct me and as I've begun to seek His counsel and direction once again, things are intensifying.
Last week the Lord directed me to do something totally out of character for me, and I obeyed, despite my own trepidation. To my complete surprise, I had a positive response and I could hear the Lord chuckling, saying, "See? I told you it'd be alright!" So that gives me confidence that I am obeying Him in something else He's directing me to do that is much, much bigger, and happening soon, and going to change everything. I'm a little scared, because I don't have the means to make it happen, but if He wants it done, He'll make a way. I'm trusting in His goodness and His providence. And getting ready to obey.
Sometimes following Him seems crazy, or goofy, or pointless, and often it requires us to "put ourselves out there," risking embarassment or humiliation or whatever. But I guess if our reputations aren't at stake, it's not really obedience--it doesn't really require trust, does it?
I love You, Jesus, and I'll follow you anywhere. Even if it's kind of scary.
Last week the Lord directed me to do something totally out of character for me, and I obeyed, despite my own trepidation. To my complete surprise, I had a positive response and I could hear the Lord chuckling, saying, "See? I told you it'd be alright!" So that gives me confidence that I am obeying Him in something else He's directing me to do that is much, much bigger, and happening soon, and going to change everything. I'm a little scared, because I don't have the means to make it happen, but if He wants it done, He'll make a way. I'm trusting in His goodness and His providence. And getting ready to obey.
Sometimes following Him seems crazy, or goofy, or pointless, and often it requires us to "put ourselves out there," risking embarassment or humiliation or whatever. But I guess if our reputations aren't at stake, it's not really obedience--it doesn't really require trust, does it?
I love You, Jesus, and I'll follow you anywhere. Even if it's kind of scary.
musings
I wrote this on 1 November, 2009, and found it recently while looking for something else on my computer. I wish I could remember more accurately the context in which it was written--what I was thinking, what I was feeling, what was running through my mind--but I cannot. What I do know is that the second part of the writing comes directly from two different but distinctly related visions the Lord gave me in summer 2009--pertaining to the spreading of the glory & the kingdom of God 'round the Earth before He returns. So with that preface, I give you...this.
i wish i could rescue every child from the ravages of poverty and the bondage of slavery; to spare them the abuse of those who have their own interests at heart; to love them as no one else does; to feed and clothe and give a home to those in need of it. i wish every child could be loved as i was loved as a child; i wish every child could hold such fond memories of childhood; i wish every child's spirit was allowed the freedom to soar and dream and find the beat to which they'll march the rest of their days. i wish every child knew he has the ear of God. i wish every child knew her prayers are heard. i wish every child knew his worth, her purpose, he's loved, she's lovely; he's a warrior; she's a bride. i wish adults could be more like children, more readily able to enter the world of the imagination and find wonder in every smallest thing. i wish children were not marginalized, pushed aside, trampled underfoot. i wish every child were protected from the evils of this world. i wish the world were kinder to it's smallest inhabitants. i wish we understood what it means to bring the kingdom of heaven to earth. but there is coming a day, and soon, when all shall be made right; when the warrior-king shall ascend His throne and when the powers of darkness shall be rendered powerless. it will not be tomorrow, no, for the world must become ever darker, ever harsher, ever more full of evil. evil must be manifest in every area, in every arena, in every place and the purposes of the enemy must come to pass, must be fulfilled. and as the darkness encroaches, and as the persecution increases, and as the hardships grow harder and as people turn to one or the other, to follow the Lamb or to follow the Lucifer; as evil pervades and blackness grows and wickedness stains the souls of men...there shall be light. first small, isolated, surrounded by unnatural night, it shall grow--and then, another, and another, and then yet more. the lights shall spread, shared to and fro they shall encircle the earth, more and more and brighter and brighter and the whole earth shall grow to be consumed by this light, by these fires of revival and the spirit of the Holy One shall be present in every place where there is a light and miracles shall happen and the Glory of the Holy One shall be brought to the earth and the heavens shall be rended and the warriors shall cry out and victory shall be theirs and the brides with their lamps shall be waiting in the readiness for which Christ foretold and then--the King returns.
Glory.
i wish i could rescue every child from the ravages of poverty and the bondage of slavery; to spare them the abuse of those who have their own interests at heart; to love them as no one else does; to feed and clothe and give a home to those in need of it. i wish every child could be loved as i was loved as a child; i wish every child could hold such fond memories of childhood; i wish every child's spirit was allowed the freedom to soar and dream and find the beat to which they'll march the rest of their days. i wish every child knew he has the ear of God. i wish every child knew her prayers are heard. i wish every child knew his worth, her purpose, he's loved, she's lovely; he's a warrior; she's a bride. i wish adults could be more like children, more readily able to enter the world of the imagination and find wonder in every smallest thing. i wish children were not marginalized, pushed aside, trampled underfoot. i wish every child were protected from the evils of this world. i wish the world were kinder to it's smallest inhabitants. i wish we understood what it means to bring the kingdom of heaven to earth. but there is coming a day, and soon, when all shall be made right; when the warrior-king shall ascend His throne and when the powers of darkness shall be rendered powerless. it will not be tomorrow, no, for the world must become ever darker, ever harsher, ever more full of evil. evil must be manifest in every area, in every arena, in every place and the purposes of the enemy must come to pass, must be fulfilled. and as the darkness encroaches, and as the persecution increases, and as the hardships grow harder and as people turn to one or the other, to follow the Lamb or to follow the Lucifer; as evil pervades and blackness grows and wickedness stains the souls of men...there shall be light. first small, isolated, surrounded by unnatural night, it shall grow--and then, another, and another, and then yet more. the lights shall spread, shared to and fro they shall encircle the earth, more and more and brighter and brighter and the whole earth shall grow to be consumed by this light, by these fires of revival and the spirit of the Holy One shall be present in every place where there is a light and miracles shall happen and the Glory of the Holy One shall be brought to the earth and the heavens shall be rended and the warriors shall cry out and victory shall be theirs and the brides with their lamps shall be waiting in the readiness for which Christ foretold and then--the King returns.
Glory.
Friday, October 8, 2010
change of plans/update
Hi everyone!
I wanted to let you know there's been a change of plans--I'm no longer going on the World Race in January. I'm considering doing a summer mission trip but haven't yet decided if I will or not. I'm planning to apply to nursing school to start next fall, so I can pursue my calling to medical missions in earnest. Anybody have any recommendations? I'm up for a [cross-state, cross-country, whatever] move!
I'll keep you guys posted as to what happens next. I'm disappointed not to be going on the World Race, but I'm so excited to see what's in store for me! Thank you all so much for your prayers and support. If you have any questions or comments, don't hesitate to contact me!
Thanks again!
Bethany Horner
I wanted to let you know there's been a change of plans--I'm no longer going on the World Race in January. I'm considering doing a summer mission trip but haven't yet decided if I will or not. I'm planning to apply to nursing school to start next fall, so I can pursue my calling to medical missions in earnest. Anybody have any recommendations? I'm up for a [cross-state, cross-country, whatever] move!
I'll keep you guys posted as to what happens next. I'm disappointed not to be going on the World Race, but I'm so excited to see what's in store for me! Thank you all so much for your prayers and support. If you have any questions or comments, don't hesitate to contact me!
Thanks again!
Bethany Horner
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Joy, everlasting
I was not afforded the privilege of knowing Joy Bausum well in this life. In fact, our paths intersected at only two brief points, both of them the weddings of mutual friends. The first time I met Joy, my friend Sarah (who went to be with the Lord in May of last year) and I had driven down to Slidell, Louisiana--just north of New Orleans--for the wedding of our friends Bridget and Aaron. We stayed with another friend, Courtney, and after a scary 3 AM arrival in the densest fog I've ever experienced, we slept a while and awoke to find another girl was also staying at Courtney's house, one whom none of us knew previously. Her name was Joy. She'd been to India with Bridget, and I was struck by her passion for missions (anyone who knows me can tell you I have a similar passion!)
The four of us--Courtney, Sarah, Joy, and I--spent the next few days hanging out, talking about Jesus and missions and love and everything in between, drinking copious amounts of hot liquids from Starbucks (we visited every night!), and just having some great fellowship. I'm certain the Lord was smiling down on the sight of four of His beautiful daughters enjoying one another's company the way sisters are meant to! After the wedding, we went our separate ways, and I never expected to encounter Joy again.
In April of this year, I traveled to South Carolina for the wedding of my old roommate from Teen Mania, Lindsay. I was meandering down the aisle looking for a place to sit when I turned and saw a face that looked familiar--I went up to Joy and said, "You were at Bridget & Aaron's wedding!" She remembered that we'd stayed in the same house and we spent so long chatting that I had to be asked to be seated so the ceremony could begin. :)
When Joy and I said goodbye that afternoon, we joked that we'd probably run into each other in the future, at another wedding! What we didn't realize then was that the next time we see one another will be a wedding--the best Wedding! The wedding of our Beloved to His Bride. It'll be the wedding feast of the Lamb, and oh! What a GLORIOUS day that will be! I look forward to that day, though I admit I'm a little jealous of Joy because she gets to be there now! And I have to wait. Joy is no longer lovesick for her Beloved, because He has come for her, and taken her to His home. When it is time for Him to come for me, I hope that I will be watching, waiting, and ready--and that I will go out fulfilling my calling.
[to be continued]
The four of us--Courtney, Sarah, Joy, and I--spent the next few days hanging out, talking about Jesus and missions and love and everything in between, drinking copious amounts of hot liquids from Starbucks (we visited every night!), and just having some great fellowship. I'm certain the Lord was smiling down on the sight of four of His beautiful daughters enjoying one another's company the way sisters are meant to! After the wedding, we went our separate ways, and I never expected to encounter Joy again.
In April of this year, I traveled to South Carolina for the wedding of my old roommate from Teen Mania, Lindsay. I was meandering down the aisle looking for a place to sit when I turned and saw a face that looked familiar--I went up to Joy and said, "You were at Bridget & Aaron's wedding!" She remembered that we'd stayed in the same house and we spent so long chatting that I had to be asked to be seated so the ceremony could begin. :)
When Joy and I said goodbye that afternoon, we joked that we'd probably run into each other in the future, at another wedding! What we didn't realize then was that the next time we see one another will be a wedding--the best Wedding! The wedding of our Beloved to His Bride. It'll be the wedding feast of the Lamb, and oh! What a GLORIOUS day that will be! I look forward to that day, though I admit I'm a little jealous of Joy because she gets to be there now! And I have to wait. Joy is no longer lovesick for her Beloved, because He has come for her, and taken her to His home. When it is time for Him to come for me, I hope that I will be watching, waiting, and ready--and that I will go out fulfilling my calling.
[to be continued]
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Support letter for the World Race: Human Trafficking Edition
Hi friends!
After returning from Panama, I jumped into the busiest semester of my life. Class, papers, and school obligations kept me hopping! Over Christmas vacation, I traveled to St. Louis, Missouri to attend the Urbana 09 missions conference hosted by InterVarsity, and to Kansas City, Missouri to spend a few days at the International House of Prayer (and let me say that I have never experienced such bitter cold in my life! This southern girl wasn’t bred for single digit temperatures! : ). This past semester was another busy one, but much less so than the fall, and on May 23rd I graduated from Barton College with a bachelor of liberal studies, concentrating in psychology and biology.
For about the last year, I’ve been looking to do some kind of missions work for a season. I plan to attend nursing school in the near future but did not feel the Lord had it in mind for me to go this fall after graduating, so I’ve been planning to take part or all of the coming year to do…something! I applied for a couple of things that did not pan out and finally applied for something called the World Race, with Adventures in Missions. I first heard about the World Race in 2005 while interning with Teen Mania Ministries and knew immediately it was something I wanted to do someday. The World Race is an 11 month sojourn into 11 different countries around the world, with the intention of living out the life of Jesus each day—living in community with other believers, reaching out to the poor, the children, the orphans, the widows, the oppressed, the enslaved, and more.
I’ll be leaving with the World Race in January, 2011, but I won’t be doing the usual 11-month journey. Instead, along with about 30 other individuals, I’ll spend five months in India, Thailand, Cambodia, and the United States focusing on preventing, combating, and raising awareness of the injustices of human trafficking. Human trafficking is the fastest-growing criminal industry in the world, and affects at least 27 million people, mostly women and children. I believe this issue is something very close to the heart of God and that His desire is to use us as His instruments to bring about change.
On this trip, we’ll work with local leaders, organizations and ministries, as well as organizations and ministries that are more international in scope. We’ll work in large cities and small villages. We’ll work to create awareness among at-risk populations and educate them on ways to keep from becoming victims of human trafficking. We’ll work with those already trapped in the vicious cycle in an effort to get them free, and we’ll bring the hope and healing found in Jesus Christ to those who’ve been brought out of it.
This trip will run from January to May, 2011, and will cost about $7,300, not including supplies, international health insurance, miscellaneous expenses, and transportation to the starting point or back home. I’m looking to raise about $9,500 to $10,000 overall. If you want to be a part of this, there are several ways you can support me in this endeavor.
(1) Prayer. Prayer is absolutely the most essential element of any work done for and with God, and it is what I desire above all other means of support. Pray that the Lord will go before us to prepare the way; that He will make provision for each individual He desires to have on this trip; that He will prepare our hearts for the onslaught of dealing directly with human suffering; that He will teach us to place our hope and trust fully in Him; that His protection will be apparent as we go about our work; that He will be fully present, working in and through us; and that we will be able to deal with all we experience on this trip in a manner that teaches us deeper love and compassion for our fellow beings—both the victims and the victimizers. We will need to be able to love not only those who suffer, but those who cause the suffering, and to be able to forgive them for their actions just as Christ has forgiven us.
(2) Finances. I fully believe that the Lord wants me on this trip, and He will make it happen! I would love for you to be a part of this. If the Lord lays it on your heart to partner with me in this endeavor, donations can be made directly to Adventures in Missions via https://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=worldrace&desc=For+Bethany+Horner. Alternately, donations can be made on my behalf by clicking the “Support Bethany” link on the left sidebar at http://www.supportbethany.com/. These will be tax-deductible through LifeSpring International Ministries (my dad’s ministry). If you would prefer to send a donation by mail, the address for LifeSpring International Ministries is 740 Greenville Blvd., Suite 400-212, Greenville, NC 27858, and the address for Adventures in Missions is P.O. Box 534470, Atlanta, GA, 30353-4470. There is a donation coupon that must be included with mailed donations to Adventures in Missions, so send me your address and I’ll mail one to you.
With financial support, both one-time and monthly support donations can be made. I am also looking for at least five people to commit to pray for me daily until my return. If you will commit to praying for me daily, or even weekly, or to supporting me financially (whether one-time or monthly), let me know! Also, let me know how I can be praying for you. If you’d like a paper copy of this letter, message me your address and I’ll gladly send you one. I’ll also be making cards that you can put anywhere it’s convenient to remember to pray for me.
If you’ve made it this far in reading this, thank you! Whether or not you can support me financially or in prayer, I appreciate you taking the time to read this. It will take all of us working together in prayer and in action to bring about justice and end the scourge of human trafficking, and God wants to use each of us!
May God richly bless you and keep you!
Bethany Horner
Relevant links:
http://www.adventures.org/ –Adventures in Missions
http://www.theworldrace.org/ –The World Race
http://www.theworldrace.org/?tab=humantrafficking –This is the specific trip I’m going on
http://updates.theworldrace.org/?filename=wr-human-trafficking-prevention-ministries&utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter –More about the trip
http://consecratedworship.blogspot.com/ –My personal blog! I’ll be posting updates as I prepare for the trip and when I go.
http://bethanyhorner.theworldrace.org/ –This hasn’t been set up yet, but will be my blog site for the World Race. Updates will also be posted here.
http://www.supportbethany.com/ –my personal support website
After returning from Panama, I jumped into the busiest semester of my life. Class, papers, and school obligations kept me hopping! Over Christmas vacation, I traveled to St. Louis, Missouri to attend the Urbana 09 missions conference hosted by InterVarsity, and to Kansas City, Missouri to spend a few days at the International House of Prayer (and let me say that I have never experienced such bitter cold in my life! This southern girl wasn’t bred for single digit temperatures! : ). This past semester was another busy one, but much less so than the fall, and on May 23rd I graduated from Barton College with a bachelor of liberal studies, concentrating in psychology and biology.
For about the last year, I’ve been looking to do some kind of missions work for a season. I plan to attend nursing school in the near future but did not feel the Lord had it in mind for me to go this fall after graduating, so I’ve been planning to take part or all of the coming year to do…something! I applied for a couple of things that did not pan out and finally applied for something called the World Race, with Adventures in Missions. I first heard about the World Race in 2005 while interning with Teen Mania Ministries and knew immediately it was something I wanted to do someday. The World Race is an 11 month sojourn into 11 different countries around the world, with the intention of living out the life of Jesus each day—living in community with other believers, reaching out to the poor, the children, the orphans, the widows, the oppressed, the enslaved, and more.
I’ll be leaving with the World Race in January, 2011, but I won’t be doing the usual 11-month journey. Instead, along with about 30 other individuals, I’ll spend five months in India, Thailand, Cambodia, and the United States focusing on preventing, combating, and raising awareness of the injustices of human trafficking. Human trafficking is the fastest-growing criminal industry in the world, and affects at least 27 million people, mostly women and children. I believe this issue is something very close to the heart of God and that His desire is to use us as His instruments to bring about change.
On this trip, we’ll work with local leaders, organizations and ministries, as well as organizations and ministries that are more international in scope. We’ll work in large cities and small villages. We’ll work to create awareness among at-risk populations and educate them on ways to keep from becoming victims of human trafficking. We’ll work with those already trapped in the vicious cycle in an effort to get them free, and we’ll bring the hope and healing found in Jesus Christ to those who’ve been brought out of it.
This trip will run from January to May, 2011, and will cost about $7,300, not including supplies, international health insurance, miscellaneous expenses, and transportation to the starting point or back home. I’m looking to raise about $9,500 to $10,000 overall. If you want to be a part of this, there are several ways you can support me in this endeavor.
(1) Prayer. Prayer is absolutely the most essential element of any work done for and with God, and it is what I desire above all other means of support. Pray that the Lord will go before us to prepare the way; that He will make provision for each individual He desires to have on this trip; that He will prepare our hearts for the onslaught of dealing directly with human suffering; that He will teach us to place our hope and trust fully in Him; that His protection will be apparent as we go about our work; that He will be fully present, working in and through us; and that we will be able to deal with all we experience on this trip in a manner that teaches us deeper love and compassion for our fellow beings—both the victims and the victimizers. We will need to be able to love not only those who suffer, but those who cause the suffering, and to be able to forgive them for their actions just as Christ has forgiven us.
(2) Finances. I fully believe that the Lord wants me on this trip, and He will make it happen! I would love for you to be a part of this. If the Lord lays it on your heart to partner with me in this endeavor, donations can be made directly to Adventures in Missions via https://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=worldrace&desc=For+Bethany+Horner. Alternately, donations can be made on my behalf by clicking the “Support Bethany” link on the left sidebar at http://www.supportbethany.com/. These will be tax-deductible through LifeSpring International Ministries (my dad’s ministry). If you would prefer to send a donation by mail, the address for LifeSpring International Ministries is 740 Greenville Blvd., Suite 400-212, Greenville, NC 27858, and the address for Adventures in Missions is P.O. Box 534470, Atlanta, GA, 30353-4470. There is a donation coupon that must be included with mailed donations to Adventures in Missions, so send me your address and I’ll mail one to you.
With financial support, both one-time and monthly support donations can be made. I am also looking for at least five people to commit to pray for me daily until my return. If you will commit to praying for me daily, or even weekly, or to supporting me financially (whether one-time or monthly), let me know! Also, let me know how I can be praying for you. If you’d like a paper copy of this letter, message me your address and I’ll gladly send you one. I’ll also be making cards that you can put anywhere it’s convenient to remember to pray for me.
If you’ve made it this far in reading this, thank you! Whether or not you can support me financially or in prayer, I appreciate you taking the time to read this. It will take all of us working together in prayer and in action to bring about justice and end the scourge of human trafficking, and God wants to use each of us!
May God richly bless you and keep you!
Bethany Horner
Relevant links:
http://www.adventures.org/ –Adventures in Missions
http://www.theworldrace.org/ –The World Race
http://www.theworldrace.org/?tab=humantrafficking –This is the specific trip I’m going on
http://updates.theworldrace.org/?filename=wr-human-trafficking-prevention-ministries&utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter –More about the trip
http://consecratedworship.blogspot.com/ –My personal blog! I’ll be posting updates as I prepare for the trip and when I go.
http://bethanyhorner.theworldrace.org/ –This hasn’t been set up yet, but will be my blog site for the World Race. Updates will also be posted here.
http://www.supportbethany.com/ –my personal support website
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Justice--an opportunity
Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne; love and faithfulness go before you.
Psalm 89:14 (NIV)
The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.
Psalm 103:6 (NIV)
“I looked for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found none.”
Ezekiel 22:30 (NIV)
"Here is my servant, whom I uphold,
my chosen one in whom I delight;
I will put my Spirit on him
and he will bring justice to the nations.
Isaiah 42:1 (NIV)
Learn to do good;
Seek justice,
Correct oppression;
Bring justice to the fatherless,
Plead the widow’s cause.
Isaiah 1:17 (ESV)
For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?
Esther 4:14 (NKJV)
For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. Matthew 16:25 (NKJV)
For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
Philippians 1:21 (NKJV)
I’ve been thinking a lot about justice lately. What it is, what it means, what it looks like, how we as believers should work to bring it about. Perhaps the primary reason is that I’ve been accepted to go on this trip: http://www.theworldrace.org/?tab=humantrafficking&ppc=wrblog&campaign=wr_wrblog_061010.
My heart for years has ached with the plight of those suffering the cruelty of injustice at the hands of those who should protect them, and I have long desired to do something towards the end of bringing the hope and freedom we have in Christ, and wherever God makes it possible, to bring freedom of the physical body as well. For the millions upon millions (27 million is the oft-quoted figure, but how can that possibly be correct, given that it hasn’t changed in the 5.5 years I’ve known of it?) under the bondage and oppression of slavery, we should—and need to—be a voice. I’ve so much to say and have been writing more in the last few days than I have in months, so more will certainly be coming soon. For now, I ask for prayer. I need to raise around $9,500-$10,000 to make this trip happen, and I have an immediate need of a $150 deposit to hold my place on this trip. Please pray that the Lord will provide, and that He will begin to prepare my heart (and those of my teammates) for the difficulties sure to be encountered on this trip.
May God richly bless and keep you, my friends.
Bethany
Psalm 89:14 (NIV)
The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.
Psalm 103:6 (NIV)
“I looked for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found none.”
Ezekiel 22:30 (NIV)
"Here is my servant, whom I uphold,
my chosen one in whom I delight;
I will put my Spirit on him
and he will bring justice to the nations.
Isaiah 42:1 (NIV)
Learn to do good;
Seek justice,
Correct oppression;
Bring justice to the fatherless,
Plead the widow’s cause.
Isaiah 1:17 (ESV)
For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?
Esther 4:14 (NKJV)
For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. Matthew 16:25 (NKJV)
For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
Philippians 1:21 (NKJV)
I’ve been thinking a lot about justice lately. What it is, what it means, what it looks like, how we as believers should work to bring it about. Perhaps the primary reason is that I’ve been accepted to go on this trip: http://www.theworldrace.org/?tab=humantrafficking&ppc=wrblog&campaign=wr_wrblog_061010.
My heart for years has ached with the plight of those suffering the cruelty of injustice at the hands of those who should protect them, and I have long desired to do something towards the end of bringing the hope and freedom we have in Christ, and wherever God makes it possible, to bring freedom of the physical body as well. For the millions upon millions (27 million is the oft-quoted figure, but how can that possibly be correct, given that it hasn’t changed in the 5.5 years I’ve known of it?) under the bondage and oppression of slavery, we should—and need to—be a voice. I’ve so much to say and have been writing more in the last few days than I have in months, so more will certainly be coming soon. For now, I ask for prayer. I need to raise around $9,500-$10,000 to make this trip happen, and I have an immediate need of a $150 deposit to hold my place on this trip. Please pray that the Lord will provide, and that He will begin to prepare my heart (and those of my teammates) for the difficulties sure to be encountered on this trip.
May God richly bless and keep you, my friends.
Bethany
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Panama, round three?
I got a call a couple days ago from Global Expeditions, asking me if I'd be interested in being a country assistant again this summer. I told the rep I'd consider it, and she sent me a list of all the places still needing a country assistant. There are lots of them but Panama is among them! So...what will this summer look like? I've been waiting for the Lord to confirm to me whether to go on the trip I signed up for last fall. It's one I'd love to do but have never had that "Yeah, the Lord wants me there this summer" kind of feeling about it. So maybe this is why (this trip is not one needing a country assistant). What this summer will look like, I have no idea. But I am excited about the possibilities!
Monday, April 26, 2010
"revolutionaries." by bethany dillon
Many have traveled this road before
I see their tracks in the dirt
But maybe I don’t agree
With where they are leading
And who am I, just a youth
But why has that become the excuse
A monotone voice
In my head saying
Dreaming all the time
It’s so foolish
Your flood of empty words
Will drown you in ruin
So we listen
Should we listen.
They shake their heads
As they drive away in the bandwagon
Didn’t feel like hitching a ride
Oh, but I’ll be fine
Some nights it’s hard to be alone
I want some kind of kinship
But the finish line
It drives me on
When they say.
Dreaming all the time
It’s so foolish
Your flood of empty words
Will drown you in ruin
So we listen
Should we listen
Come with me
They’ll call us revolutionaries
Come with me
They’ll call us revolutionaries
Revolutionaries
Revolutionaries
Dreaming all the time
It’s not foolish
Your flood of life giving words
They will refresh, they will refresh
Dreaming all the time
It’s not foolish
Your flood of life giving words
They will refresh
Should we listen
Revolutionaries.
I see their tracks in the dirt
But maybe I don’t agree
With where they are leading
And who am I, just a youth
But why has that become the excuse
A monotone voice
In my head saying
Dreaming all the time
It’s so foolish
Your flood of empty words
Will drown you in ruin
So we listen
Should we listen.
They shake their heads
As they drive away in the bandwagon
Didn’t feel like hitching a ride
Oh, but I’ll be fine
Some nights it’s hard to be alone
I want some kind of kinship
But the finish line
It drives me on
When they say.
Dreaming all the time
It’s so foolish
Your flood of empty words
Will drown you in ruin
So we listen
Should we listen
Come with me
They’ll call us revolutionaries
Come with me
They’ll call us revolutionaries
Revolutionaries
Revolutionaries
Dreaming all the time
It’s not foolish
Your flood of life giving words
They will refresh, they will refresh
Dreaming all the time
It’s not foolish
Your flood of life giving words
They will refresh
Should we listen
Revolutionaries.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
adrift, but not alone
Adrift. That's how I feel right now. Not on a tempest-tossed sea but on calm, tranquil waters spreading so far I can't see the horizon. I'm graduating in four weeks [and two days]. What then? I don't know. But I have peace.
I applied for an internship at the direction of the Lord. I didn't get accepted. What now? Do I reapply for a later date? Do I apply for a nursing program? Do I apply for another internship program I've been wanting to do? Do I apply for a 1-2 year mission program?
I don't know.
I've come to the end of a chapter of my life, a chapter that has brought great sorrow and much joy, temptations and trials, success and failure, betrayal and trust. It's brought greater loneliness than I thought was possible. It's brought sweeter fellowship with the Lord than I've ever known. It's brought people into my life whose footprints shall remain on my heart when I am old and gray, and others who are but a vague memory. I've learned so much about myself, grown so much as a woman, and found strength within myself I did not know I possessed. The Lord has taught me about loving and living and walking with Him. Have I lived as fully for Him as I possibly could? Probably not.
In hindsight one can see things that were not even vague inclinations when they still lay ahead. I have done and said things I'd take back if I could. I have not always pursued the One I love as fully as I should or could have. I've stumbled. I've fallen. I can't change the past, but though my past will shape me, it does not have to define who I become. I am determined to learn what it means to live for Him with the full measure of my being, where every cell and pore and mitochondria declare the fullness and the glory of God. I feel I'm standing on the edge of a precipice, over which I cannot see the path that lays ahead, nor what's on the other side. But one thing I know. If I take this plunge, if I dive into discovering the fullness and depths of who He is; if I jump into this discovery of His very being, there will be no turning back.
Nearly four years ago, the Lord showed me a vision of what He desires to do in and through His Bride, the Church. And He asked me a question. I've been afraid of accepting the offer He extended me then, because of the radical extent of change and the incredible standard to which He would hold me. I'm afraid that I won't measure up, that I won't be enough. But, though He's been so incredibly patient with me as I consider His offer, I know that time is running out and soon His offer will be rescinded. And that would impact the calling He's placed on my life, and indeed, all eternity would be negatively affected. Because I was afraid. Can I live with that?
I don't think so.
So even though I'm scared silly by the thought of what this will mean and how it will resonate in every particle of my life, I am going to say yes. I refuse to allow fear to paralyze me into a life of mediocrity, so my answer is yes. I'm taking the plunge. I don't know what this looks like. I don't know how to do it. I don't know what this will mean for the rest. of. my. life. But by golly, I'm saying YES! There are lives that are waiting, and I am responsible for developing the gifts the Lord has given me, which He intended to be used to bring life and healing and justice to the world--to see His kingdom come, His will be done.
My answer is yes. Yes, Lord, though it cost me. Yes, Lord, though it hurts. Yes, Lord, for You are worthy. Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES! I do! I will follow You! I have counted the cost, and I am willing to give it all up, all to You, Lord. All my hopes, all my dreams, all my future. All to You. For You. are. worthy.
May the Lamb that was slain receive the reward of His suffering.
Selah.
I applied for an internship at the direction of the Lord. I didn't get accepted. What now? Do I reapply for a later date? Do I apply for a nursing program? Do I apply for another internship program I've been wanting to do? Do I apply for a 1-2 year mission program?
I don't know.
I've come to the end of a chapter of my life, a chapter that has brought great sorrow and much joy, temptations and trials, success and failure, betrayal and trust. It's brought greater loneliness than I thought was possible. It's brought sweeter fellowship with the Lord than I've ever known. It's brought people into my life whose footprints shall remain on my heart when I am old and gray, and others who are but a vague memory. I've learned so much about myself, grown so much as a woman, and found strength within myself I did not know I possessed. The Lord has taught me about loving and living and walking with Him. Have I lived as fully for Him as I possibly could? Probably not.
In hindsight one can see things that were not even vague inclinations when they still lay ahead. I have done and said things I'd take back if I could. I have not always pursued the One I love as fully as I should or could have. I've stumbled. I've fallen. I can't change the past, but though my past will shape me, it does not have to define who I become. I am determined to learn what it means to live for Him with the full measure of my being, where every cell and pore and mitochondria declare the fullness and the glory of God. I feel I'm standing on the edge of a precipice, over which I cannot see the path that lays ahead, nor what's on the other side. But one thing I know. If I take this plunge, if I dive into discovering the fullness and depths of who He is; if I jump into this discovery of His very being, there will be no turning back.
Nearly four years ago, the Lord showed me a vision of what He desires to do in and through His Bride, the Church. And He asked me a question. I've been afraid of accepting the offer He extended me then, because of the radical extent of change and the incredible standard to which He would hold me. I'm afraid that I won't measure up, that I won't be enough. But, though He's been so incredibly patient with me as I consider His offer, I know that time is running out and soon His offer will be rescinded. And that would impact the calling He's placed on my life, and indeed, all eternity would be negatively affected. Because I was afraid. Can I live with that?
I don't think so.
So even though I'm scared silly by the thought of what this will mean and how it will resonate in every particle of my life, I am going to say yes. I refuse to allow fear to paralyze me into a life of mediocrity, so my answer is yes. I'm taking the plunge. I don't know what this looks like. I don't know how to do it. I don't know what this will mean for the rest. of. my. life. But by golly, I'm saying YES! There are lives that are waiting, and I am responsible for developing the gifts the Lord has given me, which He intended to be used to bring life and healing and justice to the world--to see His kingdom come, His will be done.
My answer is yes. Yes, Lord, though it cost me. Yes, Lord, though it hurts. Yes, Lord, for You are worthy. Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES! I do! I will follow You! I have counted the cost, and I am willing to give it all up, all to You, Lord. All my hopes, all my dreams, all my future. All to You. For You. are. worthy.
May the Lamb that was slain receive the reward of His suffering.
Selah.
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