Hi everyone!
I wanted to let you know there's been a change of plans--I'm no longer going on the World Race in January. I'm considering doing a summer mission trip but haven't yet decided if I will or not. I'm planning to apply to nursing school to start next fall, so I can pursue my calling to medical missions in earnest. Anybody have any recommendations? I'm up for a [cross-state, cross-country, whatever] move!
I'll keep you guys posted as to what happens next. I'm disappointed not to be going on the World Race, but I'm so excited to see what's in store for me! Thank you all so much for your prayers and support. If you have any questions or comments, don't hesitate to contact me!
Thanks again!
Bethany Horner
Friday, October 8, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Joy, everlasting
I was not afforded the privilege of knowing Joy Bausum well in this life. In fact, our paths intersected at only two brief points, both of them the weddings of mutual friends. The first time I met Joy, my friend Sarah (who went to be with the Lord in May of last year) and I had driven down to Slidell, Louisiana--just north of New Orleans--for the wedding of our friends Bridget and Aaron. We stayed with another friend, Courtney, and after a scary 3 AM arrival in the densest fog I've ever experienced, we slept a while and awoke to find another girl was also staying at Courtney's house, one whom none of us knew previously. Her name was Joy. She'd been to India with Bridget, and I was struck by her passion for missions (anyone who knows me can tell you I have a similar passion!)
The four of us--Courtney, Sarah, Joy, and I--spent the next few days hanging out, talking about Jesus and missions and love and everything in between, drinking copious amounts of hot liquids from Starbucks (we visited every night!), and just having some great fellowship. I'm certain the Lord was smiling down on the sight of four of His beautiful daughters enjoying one another's company the way sisters are meant to! After the wedding, we went our separate ways, and I never expected to encounter Joy again.
In April of this year, I traveled to South Carolina for the wedding of my old roommate from Teen Mania, Lindsay. I was meandering down the aisle looking for a place to sit when I turned and saw a face that looked familiar--I went up to Joy and said, "You were at Bridget & Aaron's wedding!" She remembered that we'd stayed in the same house and we spent so long chatting that I had to be asked to be seated so the ceremony could begin. :)
When Joy and I said goodbye that afternoon, we joked that we'd probably run into each other in the future, at another wedding! What we didn't realize then was that the next time we see one another will be a wedding--the best Wedding! The wedding of our Beloved to His Bride. It'll be the wedding feast of the Lamb, and oh! What a GLORIOUS day that will be! I look forward to that day, though I admit I'm a little jealous of Joy because she gets to be there now! And I have to wait. Joy is no longer lovesick for her Beloved, because He has come for her, and taken her to His home. When it is time for Him to come for me, I hope that I will be watching, waiting, and ready--and that I will go out fulfilling my calling.
[to be continued]
The four of us--Courtney, Sarah, Joy, and I--spent the next few days hanging out, talking about Jesus and missions and love and everything in between, drinking copious amounts of hot liquids from Starbucks (we visited every night!), and just having some great fellowship. I'm certain the Lord was smiling down on the sight of four of His beautiful daughters enjoying one another's company the way sisters are meant to! After the wedding, we went our separate ways, and I never expected to encounter Joy again.
In April of this year, I traveled to South Carolina for the wedding of my old roommate from Teen Mania, Lindsay. I was meandering down the aisle looking for a place to sit when I turned and saw a face that looked familiar--I went up to Joy and said, "You were at Bridget & Aaron's wedding!" She remembered that we'd stayed in the same house and we spent so long chatting that I had to be asked to be seated so the ceremony could begin. :)
When Joy and I said goodbye that afternoon, we joked that we'd probably run into each other in the future, at another wedding! What we didn't realize then was that the next time we see one another will be a wedding--the best Wedding! The wedding of our Beloved to His Bride. It'll be the wedding feast of the Lamb, and oh! What a GLORIOUS day that will be! I look forward to that day, though I admit I'm a little jealous of Joy because she gets to be there now! And I have to wait. Joy is no longer lovesick for her Beloved, because He has come for her, and taken her to His home. When it is time for Him to come for me, I hope that I will be watching, waiting, and ready--and that I will go out fulfilling my calling.
[to be continued]
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Support letter for the World Race: Human Trafficking Edition
Hi friends!
After returning from Panama, I jumped into the busiest semester of my life. Class, papers, and school obligations kept me hopping! Over Christmas vacation, I traveled to St. Louis, Missouri to attend the Urbana 09 missions conference hosted by InterVarsity, and to Kansas City, Missouri to spend a few days at the International House of Prayer (and let me say that I have never experienced such bitter cold in my life! This southern girl wasn’t bred for single digit temperatures! : ). This past semester was another busy one, but much less so than the fall, and on May 23rd I graduated from Barton College with a bachelor of liberal studies, concentrating in psychology and biology.
For about the last year, I’ve been looking to do some kind of missions work for a season. I plan to attend nursing school in the near future but did not feel the Lord had it in mind for me to go this fall after graduating, so I’ve been planning to take part or all of the coming year to do…something! I applied for a couple of things that did not pan out and finally applied for something called the World Race, with Adventures in Missions. I first heard about the World Race in 2005 while interning with Teen Mania Ministries and knew immediately it was something I wanted to do someday. The World Race is an 11 month sojourn into 11 different countries around the world, with the intention of living out the life of Jesus each day—living in community with other believers, reaching out to the poor, the children, the orphans, the widows, the oppressed, the enslaved, and more.
I’ll be leaving with the World Race in January, 2011, but I won’t be doing the usual 11-month journey. Instead, along with about 30 other individuals, I’ll spend five months in India, Thailand, Cambodia, and the United States focusing on preventing, combating, and raising awareness of the injustices of human trafficking. Human trafficking is the fastest-growing criminal industry in the world, and affects at least 27 million people, mostly women and children. I believe this issue is something very close to the heart of God and that His desire is to use us as His instruments to bring about change.
On this trip, we’ll work with local leaders, organizations and ministries, as well as organizations and ministries that are more international in scope. We’ll work in large cities and small villages. We’ll work to create awareness among at-risk populations and educate them on ways to keep from becoming victims of human trafficking. We’ll work with those already trapped in the vicious cycle in an effort to get them free, and we’ll bring the hope and healing found in Jesus Christ to those who’ve been brought out of it.
This trip will run from January to May, 2011, and will cost about $7,300, not including supplies, international health insurance, miscellaneous expenses, and transportation to the starting point or back home. I’m looking to raise about $9,500 to $10,000 overall. If you want to be a part of this, there are several ways you can support me in this endeavor.
(1) Prayer. Prayer is absolutely the most essential element of any work done for and with God, and it is what I desire above all other means of support. Pray that the Lord will go before us to prepare the way; that He will make provision for each individual He desires to have on this trip; that He will prepare our hearts for the onslaught of dealing directly with human suffering; that He will teach us to place our hope and trust fully in Him; that His protection will be apparent as we go about our work; that He will be fully present, working in and through us; and that we will be able to deal with all we experience on this trip in a manner that teaches us deeper love and compassion for our fellow beings—both the victims and the victimizers. We will need to be able to love not only those who suffer, but those who cause the suffering, and to be able to forgive them for their actions just as Christ has forgiven us.
(2) Finances. I fully believe that the Lord wants me on this trip, and He will make it happen! I would love for you to be a part of this. If the Lord lays it on your heart to partner with me in this endeavor, donations can be made directly to Adventures in Missions via https://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=worldrace&desc=For+Bethany+Horner. Alternately, donations can be made on my behalf by clicking the “Support Bethany” link on the left sidebar at http://www.supportbethany.com/. These will be tax-deductible through LifeSpring International Ministries (my dad’s ministry). If you would prefer to send a donation by mail, the address for LifeSpring International Ministries is 740 Greenville Blvd., Suite 400-212, Greenville, NC 27858, and the address for Adventures in Missions is P.O. Box 534470, Atlanta, GA, 30353-4470. There is a donation coupon that must be included with mailed donations to Adventures in Missions, so send me your address and I’ll mail one to you.
With financial support, both one-time and monthly support donations can be made. I am also looking for at least five people to commit to pray for me daily until my return. If you will commit to praying for me daily, or even weekly, or to supporting me financially (whether one-time or monthly), let me know! Also, let me know how I can be praying for you. If you’d like a paper copy of this letter, message me your address and I’ll gladly send you one. I’ll also be making cards that you can put anywhere it’s convenient to remember to pray for me.
If you’ve made it this far in reading this, thank you! Whether or not you can support me financially or in prayer, I appreciate you taking the time to read this. It will take all of us working together in prayer and in action to bring about justice and end the scourge of human trafficking, and God wants to use each of us!
May God richly bless you and keep you!
Bethany Horner
Relevant links:
http://www.adventures.org/ –Adventures in Missions
http://www.theworldrace.org/ –The World Race
http://www.theworldrace.org/?tab=humantrafficking –This is the specific trip I’m going on
http://updates.theworldrace.org/?filename=wr-human-trafficking-prevention-ministries&utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter –More about the trip
http://consecratedworship.blogspot.com/ –My personal blog! I’ll be posting updates as I prepare for the trip and when I go.
http://bethanyhorner.theworldrace.org/ –This hasn’t been set up yet, but will be my blog site for the World Race. Updates will also be posted here.
http://www.supportbethany.com/ –my personal support website
After returning from Panama, I jumped into the busiest semester of my life. Class, papers, and school obligations kept me hopping! Over Christmas vacation, I traveled to St. Louis, Missouri to attend the Urbana 09 missions conference hosted by InterVarsity, and to Kansas City, Missouri to spend a few days at the International House of Prayer (and let me say that I have never experienced such bitter cold in my life! This southern girl wasn’t bred for single digit temperatures! : ). This past semester was another busy one, but much less so than the fall, and on May 23rd I graduated from Barton College with a bachelor of liberal studies, concentrating in psychology and biology.
For about the last year, I’ve been looking to do some kind of missions work for a season. I plan to attend nursing school in the near future but did not feel the Lord had it in mind for me to go this fall after graduating, so I’ve been planning to take part or all of the coming year to do…something! I applied for a couple of things that did not pan out and finally applied for something called the World Race, with Adventures in Missions. I first heard about the World Race in 2005 while interning with Teen Mania Ministries and knew immediately it was something I wanted to do someday. The World Race is an 11 month sojourn into 11 different countries around the world, with the intention of living out the life of Jesus each day—living in community with other believers, reaching out to the poor, the children, the orphans, the widows, the oppressed, the enslaved, and more.
I’ll be leaving with the World Race in January, 2011, but I won’t be doing the usual 11-month journey. Instead, along with about 30 other individuals, I’ll spend five months in India, Thailand, Cambodia, and the United States focusing on preventing, combating, and raising awareness of the injustices of human trafficking. Human trafficking is the fastest-growing criminal industry in the world, and affects at least 27 million people, mostly women and children. I believe this issue is something very close to the heart of God and that His desire is to use us as His instruments to bring about change.
On this trip, we’ll work with local leaders, organizations and ministries, as well as organizations and ministries that are more international in scope. We’ll work in large cities and small villages. We’ll work to create awareness among at-risk populations and educate them on ways to keep from becoming victims of human trafficking. We’ll work with those already trapped in the vicious cycle in an effort to get them free, and we’ll bring the hope and healing found in Jesus Christ to those who’ve been brought out of it.
This trip will run from January to May, 2011, and will cost about $7,300, not including supplies, international health insurance, miscellaneous expenses, and transportation to the starting point or back home. I’m looking to raise about $9,500 to $10,000 overall. If you want to be a part of this, there are several ways you can support me in this endeavor.
(1) Prayer. Prayer is absolutely the most essential element of any work done for and with God, and it is what I desire above all other means of support. Pray that the Lord will go before us to prepare the way; that He will make provision for each individual He desires to have on this trip; that He will prepare our hearts for the onslaught of dealing directly with human suffering; that He will teach us to place our hope and trust fully in Him; that His protection will be apparent as we go about our work; that He will be fully present, working in and through us; and that we will be able to deal with all we experience on this trip in a manner that teaches us deeper love and compassion for our fellow beings—both the victims and the victimizers. We will need to be able to love not only those who suffer, but those who cause the suffering, and to be able to forgive them for their actions just as Christ has forgiven us.
(2) Finances. I fully believe that the Lord wants me on this trip, and He will make it happen! I would love for you to be a part of this. If the Lord lays it on your heart to partner with me in this endeavor, donations can be made directly to Adventures in Missions via https://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=worldrace&desc=For+Bethany+Horner. Alternately, donations can be made on my behalf by clicking the “Support Bethany” link on the left sidebar at http://www.supportbethany.com/. These will be tax-deductible through LifeSpring International Ministries (my dad’s ministry). If you would prefer to send a donation by mail, the address for LifeSpring International Ministries is 740 Greenville Blvd., Suite 400-212, Greenville, NC 27858, and the address for Adventures in Missions is P.O. Box 534470, Atlanta, GA, 30353-4470. There is a donation coupon that must be included with mailed donations to Adventures in Missions, so send me your address and I’ll mail one to you.
With financial support, both one-time and monthly support donations can be made. I am also looking for at least five people to commit to pray for me daily until my return. If you will commit to praying for me daily, or even weekly, or to supporting me financially (whether one-time or monthly), let me know! Also, let me know how I can be praying for you. If you’d like a paper copy of this letter, message me your address and I’ll gladly send you one. I’ll also be making cards that you can put anywhere it’s convenient to remember to pray for me.
If you’ve made it this far in reading this, thank you! Whether or not you can support me financially or in prayer, I appreciate you taking the time to read this. It will take all of us working together in prayer and in action to bring about justice and end the scourge of human trafficking, and God wants to use each of us!
May God richly bless you and keep you!
Bethany Horner
Relevant links:
http://www.adventures.org/ –Adventures in Missions
http://www.theworldrace.org/ –The World Race
http://www.theworldrace.org/?tab=humantrafficking –This is the specific trip I’m going on
http://updates.theworldrace.org/?filename=wr-human-trafficking-prevention-ministries&utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter –More about the trip
http://consecratedworship.blogspot.com/ –My personal blog! I’ll be posting updates as I prepare for the trip and when I go.
http://bethanyhorner.theworldrace.org/ –This hasn’t been set up yet, but will be my blog site for the World Race. Updates will also be posted here.
http://www.supportbethany.com/ –my personal support website
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Justice--an opportunity
Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne; love and faithfulness go before you.
Psalm 89:14 (NIV)
The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.
Psalm 103:6 (NIV)
“I looked for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found none.”
Ezekiel 22:30 (NIV)
"Here is my servant, whom I uphold,
my chosen one in whom I delight;
I will put my Spirit on him
and he will bring justice to the nations.
Isaiah 42:1 (NIV)
Learn to do good;
Seek justice,
Correct oppression;
Bring justice to the fatherless,
Plead the widow’s cause.
Isaiah 1:17 (ESV)
For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?
Esther 4:14 (NKJV)
For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. Matthew 16:25 (NKJV)
For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
Philippians 1:21 (NKJV)
I’ve been thinking a lot about justice lately. What it is, what it means, what it looks like, how we as believers should work to bring it about. Perhaps the primary reason is that I’ve been accepted to go on this trip: http://www.theworldrace.org/?tab=humantrafficking&ppc=wrblog&campaign=wr_wrblog_061010.
My heart for years has ached with the plight of those suffering the cruelty of injustice at the hands of those who should protect them, and I have long desired to do something towards the end of bringing the hope and freedom we have in Christ, and wherever God makes it possible, to bring freedom of the physical body as well. For the millions upon millions (27 million is the oft-quoted figure, but how can that possibly be correct, given that it hasn’t changed in the 5.5 years I’ve known of it?) under the bondage and oppression of slavery, we should—and need to—be a voice. I’ve so much to say and have been writing more in the last few days than I have in months, so more will certainly be coming soon. For now, I ask for prayer. I need to raise around $9,500-$10,000 to make this trip happen, and I have an immediate need of a $150 deposit to hold my place on this trip. Please pray that the Lord will provide, and that He will begin to prepare my heart (and those of my teammates) for the difficulties sure to be encountered on this trip.
May God richly bless and keep you, my friends.
Bethany
Psalm 89:14 (NIV)
The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.
Psalm 103:6 (NIV)
“I looked for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found none.”
Ezekiel 22:30 (NIV)
"Here is my servant, whom I uphold,
my chosen one in whom I delight;
I will put my Spirit on him
and he will bring justice to the nations.
Isaiah 42:1 (NIV)
Learn to do good;
Seek justice,
Correct oppression;
Bring justice to the fatherless,
Plead the widow’s cause.
Isaiah 1:17 (ESV)
For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?
Esther 4:14 (NKJV)
For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. Matthew 16:25 (NKJV)
For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
Philippians 1:21 (NKJV)
I’ve been thinking a lot about justice lately. What it is, what it means, what it looks like, how we as believers should work to bring it about. Perhaps the primary reason is that I’ve been accepted to go on this trip: http://www.theworldrace.org/?tab=humantrafficking&ppc=wrblog&campaign=wr_wrblog_061010.
My heart for years has ached with the plight of those suffering the cruelty of injustice at the hands of those who should protect them, and I have long desired to do something towards the end of bringing the hope and freedom we have in Christ, and wherever God makes it possible, to bring freedom of the physical body as well. For the millions upon millions (27 million is the oft-quoted figure, but how can that possibly be correct, given that it hasn’t changed in the 5.5 years I’ve known of it?) under the bondage and oppression of slavery, we should—and need to—be a voice. I’ve so much to say and have been writing more in the last few days than I have in months, so more will certainly be coming soon. For now, I ask for prayer. I need to raise around $9,500-$10,000 to make this trip happen, and I have an immediate need of a $150 deposit to hold my place on this trip. Please pray that the Lord will provide, and that He will begin to prepare my heart (and those of my teammates) for the difficulties sure to be encountered on this trip.
May God richly bless and keep you, my friends.
Bethany
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Panama, round three?
I got a call a couple days ago from Global Expeditions, asking me if I'd be interested in being a country assistant again this summer. I told the rep I'd consider it, and she sent me a list of all the places still needing a country assistant. There are lots of them but Panama is among them! So...what will this summer look like? I've been waiting for the Lord to confirm to me whether to go on the trip I signed up for last fall. It's one I'd love to do but have never had that "Yeah, the Lord wants me there this summer" kind of feeling about it. So maybe this is why (this trip is not one needing a country assistant). What this summer will look like, I have no idea. But I am excited about the possibilities!
Monday, April 26, 2010
"revolutionaries." by bethany dillon
Many have traveled this road before
I see their tracks in the dirt
But maybe I don’t agree
With where they are leading
And who am I, just a youth
But why has that become the excuse
A monotone voice
In my head saying
Dreaming all the time
It’s so foolish
Your flood of empty words
Will drown you in ruin
So we listen
Should we listen.
They shake their heads
As they drive away in the bandwagon
Didn’t feel like hitching a ride
Oh, but I’ll be fine
Some nights it’s hard to be alone
I want some kind of kinship
But the finish line
It drives me on
When they say.
Dreaming all the time
It’s so foolish
Your flood of empty words
Will drown you in ruin
So we listen
Should we listen
Come with me
They’ll call us revolutionaries
Come with me
They’ll call us revolutionaries
Revolutionaries
Revolutionaries
Dreaming all the time
It’s not foolish
Your flood of life giving words
They will refresh, they will refresh
Dreaming all the time
It’s not foolish
Your flood of life giving words
They will refresh
Should we listen
Revolutionaries.
I see their tracks in the dirt
But maybe I don’t agree
With where they are leading
And who am I, just a youth
But why has that become the excuse
A monotone voice
In my head saying
Dreaming all the time
It’s so foolish
Your flood of empty words
Will drown you in ruin
So we listen
Should we listen.
They shake their heads
As they drive away in the bandwagon
Didn’t feel like hitching a ride
Oh, but I’ll be fine
Some nights it’s hard to be alone
I want some kind of kinship
But the finish line
It drives me on
When they say.
Dreaming all the time
It’s so foolish
Your flood of empty words
Will drown you in ruin
So we listen
Should we listen
Come with me
They’ll call us revolutionaries
Come with me
They’ll call us revolutionaries
Revolutionaries
Revolutionaries
Dreaming all the time
It’s not foolish
Your flood of life giving words
They will refresh, they will refresh
Dreaming all the time
It’s not foolish
Your flood of life giving words
They will refresh
Should we listen
Revolutionaries.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
adrift, but not alone
Adrift. That's how I feel right now. Not on a tempest-tossed sea but on calm, tranquil waters spreading so far I can't see the horizon. I'm graduating in four weeks [and two days]. What then? I don't know. But I have peace.
I applied for an internship at the direction of the Lord. I didn't get accepted. What now? Do I reapply for a later date? Do I apply for a nursing program? Do I apply for another internship program I've been wanting to do? Do I apply for a 1-2 year mission program?
I don't know.
I've come to the end of a chapter of my life, a chapter that has brought great sorrow and much joy, temptations and trials, success and failure, betrayal and trust. It's brought greater loneliness than I thought was possible. It's brought sweeter fellowship with the Lord than I've ever known. It's brought people into my life whose footprints shall remain on my heart when I am old and gray, and others who are but a vague memory. I've learned so much about myself, grown so much as a woman, and found strength within myself I did not know I possessed. The Lord has taught me about loving and living and walking with Him. Have I lived as fully for Him as I possibly could? Probably not.
In hindsight one can see things that were not even vague inclinations when they still lay ahead. I have done and said things I'd take back if I could. I have not always pursued the One I love as fully as I should or could have. I've stumbled. I've fallen. I can't change the past, but though my past will shape me, it does not have to define who I become. I am determined to learn what it means to live for Him with the full measure of my being, where every cell and pore and mitochondria declare the fullness and the glory of God. I feel I'm standing on the edge of a precipice, over which I cannot see the path that lays ahead, nor what's on the other side. But one thing I know. If I take this plunge, if I dive into discovering the fullness and depths of who He is; if I jump into this discovery of His very being, there will be no turning back.
Nearly four years ago, the Lord showed me a vision of what He desires to do in and through His Bride, the Church. And He asked me a question. I've been afraid of accepting the offer He extended me then, because of the radical extent of change and the incredible standard to which He would hold me. I'm afraid that I won't measure up, that I won't be enough. But, though He's been so incredibly patient with me as I consider His offer, I know that time is running out and soon His offer will be rescinded. And that would impact the calling He's placed on my life, and indeed, all eternity would be negatively affected. Because I was afraid. Can I live with that?
I don't think so.
So even though I'm scared silly by the thought of what this will mean and how it will resonate in every particle of my life, I am going to say yes. I refuse to allow fear to paralyze me into a life of mediocrity, so my answer is yes. I'm taking the plunge. I don't know what this looks like. I don't know how to do it. I don't know what this will mean for the rest. of. my. life. But by golly, I'm saying YES! There are lives that are waiting, and I am responsible for developing the gifts the Lord has given me, which He intended to be used to bring life and healing and justice to the world--to see His kingdom come, His will be done.
My answer is yes. Yes, Lord, though it cost me. Yes, Lord, though it hurts. Yes, Lord, for You are worthy. Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES! I do! I will follow You! I have counted the cost, and I am willing to give it all up, all to You, Lord. All my hopes, all my dreams, all my future. All to You. For You. are. worthy.
May the Lamb that was slain receive the reward of His suffering.
Selah.
I applied for an internship at the direction of the Lord. I didn't get accepted. What now? Do I reapply for a later date? Do I apply for a nursing program? Do I apply for another internship program I've been wanting to do? Do I apply for a 1-2 year mission program?
I don't know.
I've come to the end of a chapter of my life, a chapter that has brought great sorrow and much joy, temptations and trials, success and failure, betrayal and trust. It's brought greater loneliness than I thought was possible. It's brought sweeter fellowship with the Lord than I've ever known. It's brought people into my life whose footprints shall remain on my heart when I am old and gray, and others who are but a vague memory. I've learned so much about myself, grown so much as a woman, and found strength within myself I did not know I possessed. The Lord has taught me about loving and living and walking with Him. Have I lived as fully for Him as I possibly could? Probably not.
In hindsight one can see things that were not even vague inclinations when they still lay ahead. I have done and said things I'd take back if I could. I have not always pursued the One I love as fully as I should or could have. I've stumbled. I've fallen. I can't change the past, but though my past will shape me, it does not have to define who I become. I am determined to learn what it means to live for Him with the full measure of my being, where every cell and pore and mitochondria declare the fullness and the glory of God. I feel I'm standing on the edge of a precipice, over which I cannot see the path that lays ahead, nor what's on the other side. But one thing I know. If I take this plunge, if I dive into discovering the fullness and depths of who He is; if I jump into this discovery of His very being, there will be no turning back.
Nearly four years ago, the Lord showed me a vision of what He desires to do in and through His Bride, the Church. And He asked me a question. I've been afraid of accepting the offer He extended me then, because of the radical extent of change and the incredible standard to which He would hold me. I'm afraid that I won't measure up, that I won't be enough. But, though He's been so incredibly patient with me as I consider His offer, I know that time is running out and soon His offer will be rescinded. And that would impact the calling He's placed on my life, and indeed, all eternity would be negatively affected. Because I was afraid. Can I live with that?
I don't think so.
So even though I'm scared silly by the thought of what this will mean and how it will resonate in every particle of my life, I am going to say yes. I refuse to allow fear to paralyze me into a life of mediocrity, so my answer is yes. I'm taking the plunge. I don't know what this looks like. I don't know how to do it. I don't know what this will mean for the rest. of. my. life. But by golly, I'm saying YES! There are lives that are waiting, and I am responsible for developing the gifts the Lord has given me, which He intended to be used to bring life and healing and justice to the world--to see His kingdom come, His will be done.
My answer is yes. Yes, Lord, though it cost me. Yes, Lord, though it hurts. Yes, Lord, for You are worthy. Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES! I do! I will follow You! I have counted the cost, and I am willing to give it all up, all to You, Lord. All my hopes, all my dreams, all my future. All to You. For You. are. worthy.
May the Lamb that was slain receive the reward of His suffering.
Selah.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
a radical consecration; a holy desperation
Desperate. What does it mean to be desperate? Desperate can be defined as having an urgent need or desire, or “making a final, ultimate effort; giving all.” It can even mean “reckless or dangerous because of despair or urgency.” But what does that really mean? More specifically, what does it mean to be desperate for the Lord? It’s common phraseology in Christian circles—it’s even worked its way into our popular worship songs. “Breathe,” which for years was (and still is) very popular, sings “And I, I’m desperate for You…” But again, I ask: What does this mean?
I’ve been so busy this semester I’ve had little time to ponder or contemplate questions like this, and so many remain unanswered in my mind—in my heart. But I want to know what it means to be really, truly, thirstily desperate to know and love and see and experience my Lord. Sometimes it feels as though if I could just get a grasp on what it really means to be desperate to know Him—intimately, as a Lover—then maybe, just maybe I could shoot for that goal and have some hope of attaining it.
I love my Lord. I’m sure of that. But do I LOVE Him? Am I truly at a place where I willingly surrender each moment of every day to His direction, to His keeping? Do I truly, really trust that He has my best interests at heart? Is there anything within me, any traitorous thought that keeps me from trusting Him implicitly the way I long to? Sure, I’ve surrendered my life and my hopes and my heart and my dreams to Him. Sure, I submit them to His will. But I’m just as quick to take them back and hold on tight, foolishly thinking that somehow, maybe I can make things come to pass in a better way than He can. Silly me! Being in that broken place of complete surrender, of total submission is such a beautiful, marvelous thing—but I’m so quick to step out of it! It’s painful and hard and challenging and tough and I just don’t want to stay there, even though I do! If you’ve ever been there, you know exactly what I mean!
Consecrate. To declare or to set apart as holy. Holy. To be holy is to be set apart or devoted to the Lord’s purposes. The International House of Prayer (which has recently been experiencing an incredible move of the Holy Spirit!) places a good deal of emphasis on the vow of the Nazirite—a serious vow of consecration and holiness to the Lord, marked by the shaving of the head and the abstention from all things produced from grapes and avoidance of being around the dead—desiring to raise up men and women whose hearts are fully devoted to the Lord and His purposes. I have never had an inclination to take a Nazirite vow, but the root word of Nazirite is “naw-zar,” which means “to hold aloof, to abstain, to set apart (to sacred purposes), to devote: -consecrate, separate.”
Those of you who knew me back in the Xanga and Myspace days may remember that my username for both was “consecratedworship.” Consecration is a huge, abiding theme in my life; it is written into my life mission statement and is one of three words that made it into the condensed version of my life mission statement [[love.revolution.consecration]]. The Lord called me nearly three months ago into a season of intense consecration to Him, and the time since has been rather excruciatingly painful on the inside because so much uprooting and dross-skimming has been going on. That combined with the workload of my classes made for a very interesting semester I’m ever-so-glad I don’t have to repeat (basically the worst semester of my life), and I am moving now into a place I’ve never been. A place of greater purity, of greater holiness, of greater consecration to Him. He has marked me and set me apart for His purposes, and though I don’t by any means know the full extent of what they are, I do know that they will be beautiful, and that lives will be changed. Hallelujah!
Selah.
Bethany
I’ve been so busy this semester I’ve had little time to ponder or contemplate questions like this, and so many remain unanswered in my mind—in my heart. But I want to know what it means to be really, truly, thirstily desperate to know and love and see and experience my Lord. Sometimes it feels as though if I could just get a grasp on what it really means to be desperate to know Him—intimately, as a Lover—then maybe, just maybe I could shoot for that goal and have some hope of attaining it.
I love my Lord. I’m sure of that. But do I LOVE Him? Am I truly at a place where I willingly surrender each moment of every day to His direction, to His keeping? Do I truly, really trust that He has my best interests at heart? Is there anything within me, any traitorous thought that keeps me from trusting Him implicitly the way I long to? Sure, I’ve surrendered my life and my hopes and my heart and my dreams to Him. Sure, I submit them to His will. But I’m just as quick to take them back and hold on tight, foolishly thinking that somehow, maybe I can make things come to pass in a better way than He can. Silly me! Being in that broken place of complete surrender, of total submission is such a beautiful, marvelous thing—but I’m so quick to step out of it! It’s painful and hard and challenging and tough and I just don’t want to stay there, even though I do! If you’ve ever been there, you know exactly what I mean!
Consecrate. To declare or to set apart as holy. Holy. To be holy is to be set apart or devoted to the Lord’s purposes. The International House of Prayer (which has recently been experiencing an incredible move of the Holy Spirit!) places a good deal of emphasis on the vow of the Nazirite—a serious vow of consecration and holiness to the Lord, marked by the shaving of the head and the abstention from all things produced from grapes and avoidance of being around the dead—desiring to raise up men and women whose hearts are fully devoted to the Lord and His purposes. I have never had an inclination to take a Nazirite vow, but the root word of Nazirite is “naw-zar,” which means “to hold aloof, to abstain, to set apart (to sacred purposes), to devote: -consecrate, separate.”
Those of you who knew me back in the Xanga and Myspace days may remember that my username for both was “consecratedworship.” Consecration is a huge, abiding theme in my life; it is written into my life mission statement and is one of three words that made it into the condensed version of my life mission statement [[love.revolution.consecration]]. The Lord called me nearly three months ago into a season of intense consecration to Him, and the time since has been rather excruciatingly painful on the inside because so much uprooting and dross-skimming has been going on. That combined with the workload of my classes made for a very interesting semester I’m ever-so-glad I don’t have to repeat (basically the worst semester of my life), and I am moving now into a place I’ve never been. A place of greater purity, of greater holiness, of greater consecration to Him. He has marked me and set me apart for His purposes, and though I don’t by any means know the full extent of what they are, I do know that they will be beautiful, and that lives will be changed. Hallelujah!
Selah.
Bethany
Friday, November 13, 2009
a post for thursday, on friday, in the early morn
Today (Thursday), I bought a "My Little Pony" coloring book for a dollar from Target, so I can tear the pictures out and send them to my girls Shalen and Scarle to color. :)
Tomorrow (Friday) I get to see my sister and my nephew. :) :)
And in a little over a month, I will be DONE with this horrendous semester. :) :) :)
Tomorrow (Friday) I get to see my sister and my nephew. :) :)
And in a little over a month, I will be DONE with this horrendous semester. :) :) :)
Thursday, November 5, 2009
my grown-up Christmas list.
This year has changed me a lot. My priorities have shifted and I see the world differently than I did a year ago. One of the biggest reasons for this was picking up a second sponsored child through Compassion International last year, and now that I have started sponsoring a third one (just a couple of weeks ago!), I have realized a few things. One, I have far more than I could ever possibly use or need. I am working on purging my belongings, which is difficult for me as I have sentimental attachments to everything! But I am determined to reduce the amount of junk I own and live simply. I refuse to be a perpetual packrat.
Two, this life is not about me. Not me, not me, not me. It is about others and what I can do to serve them and show them the love of our Father in heaven. So much of the world lives in abject poverty, and though I’ve said I care about them for years, my actions have not backed up my words. It’s time for that to change.
Since I don’t *need* anything (though I may *want* many things!), I have decided to do something this Christmas to give credence to my rhetoric. Rather than asking for more useless stuff that will merely accumulate in my room, I have decided that what I want for Christmas this year is to change the world. I have listed three of my favorite charitable organizations, and opportunities for giving to them that mean something to me. There are, of course, many other ways to give to these organizations, but for Christmas this year…I want to rescue a child(ren) from slavery, provide a bicycle for a missionary, save the lives of babies, prevent the spread of preventable diseases, and give a family a way to support themselves and be lifted out of poverty. The ones marked *** are my favorites, but I especially want to rescue a child from slavery and buy a bicycle for a missionary.
My challenge to you is, “What are you doing to make your Christmas count?”
Blessings and love.
Bethany
Compassion International
***Donation to Compassion’s Tanzania Clean Water Projects (especially relevant now as I have a sponsored child in Tanzania!). Sixty percent of diseases afflicting Compassion-assisted children in Tanzania are waterborne diseases. Less than half the population has access to safe, clean drinking water. https://www.compassion.com/contribution/giving/Tanzania+Clean+Water+Projects.htm
***Donation to Compassion’s Child Survival Program. I love babies. Love them, love them, love them. And 26,000 children under five die every day, nearly all of preventable causes. This program helps provide prenatal care, health screenings, nutrition education, food, and church support for expectant mothers and mothers of small children to help ensure these children can survive until they are old enough to be enrolled in Compassion’s sponsorship program (around age 4-5, typically). You even have the option of supporting a single Child Survival Program project. https://www.compassion.com/contribution/giving/CSP.htm
***Donation to Compassion’s Malaria Intervention Fund. Most of the million people who die each year of malaria are children. Mosquito nets, available for only $10, can drastically reduce the rate of infections and save lives. https://www.compassion.com/contribution/giving/malariaintervention.htm
Gospel for Asia
***A bicycle for a Gospel for Asia missionary. For $110, a bicycle can be provided for a native missionary which dramatically increases the area able to be covered by the missionary, thus providing opportunity for more areas to be reached with the Gospel. http://www.gfa.org/gift/gifts-for-missionaries/
A rickshaw for a native family. For $133, a rickshaw can be provided to give a family a way to make a living and meet their family’s needs. http://www.gfa.org/gift/gifts-of-outreach/
***Biosand water filter. For $30, a sand filter can be provided for a village, allowing them water that is 98% pure of dangerous pathogens. http://www.gfa.org/gift/gifts-of-compassion/
***Vocational training. For $30, vocational training can be provided for an individual to give them a way to make a living and support themselves and their family. http://www.gfa.org/gift/gifts-of-compassion/
***Flock of chicks or rabbits. For $11, a small group of chicks or rabbits can be provided for a family, giving them food and an extra source of income. http://www.gfa.org/gift/from-the-stable/
Lambs. For $65, a lamb can be provided for a family to give them food and income sources. http://www.gfa.org/gift/from-the-stable/
Goats. For $60 a goat (or for $120 a pair of goats) can be provided for a family to give them food and a source of extra income. http://www.gfa.org/gift/from-the-stable/
Samaritan’s Purse
***Gift 8—Rescue a child from bondage and abuse. For $75, a safe haven, basic necessities, and counseling can be provided for a vulnerable child. https://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/Giving/gift_catalog/
Gift 12—help stock a fish pond. For $50, you can stock a fish pond and give a whole village a source of food and income! https://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/Giving/gift_catalog/
Gift 16—honeybees. For $30 a hive can be provided to give a family a source of food and income. https://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/Giving/gift_catalog/
Gift 24—emergency shelter. For $100, emergency repairs can be made to a damaged home. For $200, an emergency shelter can be constructed. https://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/Giving/gift_catalog/
Gift 27—emergency medicine. For $60, fifty people can be provided with life-saving emergency medicine. https://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/Giving/gift_catalog/
Gift 28—help fight epidemic diseases. For $75, up to five people can be provided with vaccines, testing, and/or medications to fight some of the most common and preventable diseases. https://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/Giving/gift_catalog/
Gift 33—care for AIDS orphans and widows. For $45, an AIDS orphan or widow can be provided with a month of meals or other necessities. https://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/Giving/gift_catalog/
***Gift 41—bikes and vehicles for the mission field. For $100 a bike or other method of transportation can be provided for a native missionary or pastor, allowing them to share the Gospel over wider territory. https://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/Giving/gift_catalog/
Gift 46—“Jesus Loves Me” lambs. For only $4, a lamb that plays this song can be given to a child. https://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/Giving/gift_catalog/
***Gift 49—help a young doctor answer God’s call to missions. For $50, you can contribute to reducing a young doctor’s student loan debt, enabling them to get out on the mission field more quickly. As this is precisely what I want to do (except in nursing), this is something I feel strongly about! Let’s get these doctors on the mission field! https://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/Giving/gift_catalog/
Gift 50—help stop the spread of HIV/AIDS. For $25, a church worker can be equipped with training, materials, and other resources to fight the spread of HIV/AIDS. https://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/Giving/gift_catalog/
Gift 52—help cure tuberculosis. For only $15, medicine can be provided to save the life of someone who has contracted TB. https://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/Giving/gift_catalog/
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