Mom's words of advice to a friend on how to keep a marriage running smoothly for 30+ years.
"The first thing is to keep the Lord Jesus the center of your home. He has to be first in each of your hearts, and first in your home. One of the most important things is that we both agreed never to do anything that would lead to ...adultery - no flirting, no having dinner with colleagues, no emotional involvement with someone else. We chose to love each other until death do us part. That means there's NO DIVORCE, and since we both want to be HAPPILY married, we work on the relationship because we have no "back door" - no "way out if it doesn't work out". We did not approach marriage as "trying it out". We married for life. Period. Another important aspect is that we want peace and harmony in our home, so we will do what it takes to have that. We trust each other, and work to make sure we do not act in a manner that would betray our trust. Remember: the #1 thing EACH one of you needs is RESPECT. If you respect each other, you will never do anything to embarrass your partner, but you will uphold, defend, and believe in your spouse, even when no one else does. We are also best friends. I will never tell a girl friend something about my husband that he would not want told. Ron is my best friend, and I have chosen to keep it that way, even when girlfriends tried to get closer to me. Nope - he's my best friend. And, after all these years, we still flirt with each other! :) Hope this helps!"
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
pur water
I read this a couple days ago and got really excited, so I just had to share. A big corporation helping make clean water more accessible, and helping educate people about waterborne diseases? Yes, please!
http://blog.worldvision.org/causes/pur-genius/
Also, please pray I get some work this week. I've been told not to come in the last two days! Yuck!
http://blog.worldvision.org/causes/pur-genius/
Also, please pray I get some work this week. I've been told not to come in the last two days! Yuck!
Saturday, June 25, 2011
today I worked...
...a full 9 hours, and thereby doubled my hours for the week (and then some!). Also, I scored a half-gallon of organic milk for only a dollar! YES!!!
Friday, June 24, 2011
work, work, work
I worked a whopping 3 hours today, for a total of 7.5 hours this week. Normally I've been getting over 20. So. I think the Lord is trying to teach me to trust Him. I hope it's working!
Also, I have been in Texas for four months, as of Wednesday. Despite the difficulties, it feels more and more like home. I kinda like it here! :-D
Also, I have been in Texas for four months, as of Wednesday. Despite the difficulties, it feels more and more like home. I kinda like it here! :-D
Thursday, June 23, 2011
I was so tired today...
...I lay down for a "short nap" and wake up three hours later, having slept straight through prayer at church!
Drat.
Drat.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Texas
I haven’t written since I got to Texas (except in my journal). It’s been a rough journey, and for a while the only words I had to write were not ones I wished to share. Things haven’t turned out anything like I hoped or expected. In some ways, they’ve been worse, but in other ways, they’ve been so much better. The Lord is teaching me, expecting me, forcing me to trust Him for provision, for my care. Each time I needed somewhere to go, He’s opened a place for me. When I was at the breaking point of either getting a job or going back to North Carolina, He provided one. It wasn’t what I wanted, but it’s what I needed, and I’m there for this time for a purpose. He is so good!
The last four months have been a bumpy road through intense discouragement and disappointment and frustration, but they have also been characterized by the budding of new friendships, a newfound family, and learning to trust the Lord in new, unique ways. Even in the hardest moments, when I wished for the security of what I left behind and struggled against the temptation to return to that, I knew I was where I was meant to be, and I didn’t want to leave.
I certainly don’t know the fullness of the purposes for which the Lord called me here to Texas, but I don’t want to leave until every bit of it has been fulfilled. Whether that means staying here for a few months, a few years, or the rest of my life remains to be seen, but my stubborn self is planted here and not budging till it’s time to go. I don’t know what next week looks like, or next month, and certainly not next year, but…judging from the last few years, if I knew what was coming, I’d probably run away and hide. : ) I haven’t liked much of the last few months, but you know what? Things are getting better, they will get better, and I’m not going anywhere. As long as the Lord keeps opening doors, I’m here to stay.
love, Beth.
The last four months have been a bumpy road through intense discouragement and disappointment and frustration, but they have also been characterized by the budding of new friendships, a newfound family, and learning to trust the Lord in new, unique ways. Even in the hardest moments, when I wished for the security of what I left behind and struggled against the temptation to return to that, I knew I was where I was meant to be, and I didn’t want to leave.
I certainly don’t know the fullness of the purposes for which the Lord called me here to Texas, but I don’t want to leave until every bit of it has been fulfilled. Whether that means staying here for a few months, a few years, or the rest of my life remains to be seen, but my stubborn self is planted here and not budging till it’s time to go. I don’t know what next week looks like, or next month, and certainly not next year, but…judging from the last few years, if I knew what was coming, I’d probably run away and hide. : ) I haven’t liked much of the last few months, but you know what? Things are getting better, they will get better, and I’m not going anywhere. As long as the Lord keeps opening doors, I’m here to stay.
love, Beth.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
erm, hello there!
After a month long hiatus from blogging, I am BACK! I was sick for most of December [blegh!] so I didn't get much accomplished, and since then I have been pretending to pack for my upcoming move to TEXAS!!! [which was supposed to be last week but since the entire southeast got frozen over by that dumb snowstorm, I've been slightly delayed. but anyway.]
However, things seem to be coming together for housing and I think a job will be forthcoming [because the Lord has always provided one when I needed one before] and I am just really, really excited about this upcoming season of life. Because it's going to be good and beautiful and I am going to grow and change and all that is very, very good. I look forward to new friendships, deepened relationships, pouring into and being poured into, community, coffee, love. I am excited to work towards creating the sort of life I want to live, to becoming the woman I want to be--more in tune and in line with who the Lord has created me to be.
This is going to be fun! :)
However, things seem to be coming together for housing and I think a job will be forthcoming [because the Lord has always provided one when I needed one before] and I am just really, really excited about this upcoming season of life. Because it's going to be good and beautiful and I am going to grow and change and all that is very, very good. I look forward to new friendships, deepened relationships, pouring into and being poured into, community, coffee, love. I am excited to work towards creating the sort of life I want to live, to becoming the woman I want to be--more in tune and in line with who the Lord has created me to be.
This is going to be fun! :)
Friday, December 17, 2010
five years, and finally
Five years ago today (December 16th, 2005) was the culmination and celebration of something that remains one of my proudest accomplishments. Five years ago today, I shook the hands of Ron Luce and David Hasz, posed for pictures and said tearful goodbyes. Five years ago today, I graduated the Honor Academy.
I never wanted to go to the Honor Academy. I was terribly frightened as I walked away from my parents and friends to board the plane that day. I didn't think I could do it--didn't think I was capable of withstanding the physical exertion and level of discipline required at the HA. I thought only amazing, "super-Christians" would be able to succeed there and complete the program. It took the Lord hedging me in to get me to even apply, and it took more maneuvering on His part to get me there and keep me there, in the face of nearly constant financial difficulty. But stay the course I did, with His help and grace, and I found myself finishing what I had started that cold January morning.
The night of graduation, I chose to spend my last night ever in the dorm, sleeping one last time on my bed. I was alone--everyone else had left or joined their families in hotels. I didn't mind. I don't really remember what I did, only that my dad came to get me the next morning. We loaded up the last of my belongings into our little rental car (a new Ford Taurus with which I remain terribly unimpressed), I looked one last time around my room, and we walked out of Carey Hall, got in the car, and started the trek around the loop, stopping one last time to check out at the guardbooth before pulling onto the road and heading for the hotel in Lindale.
The one thing I remember most is the profound sense of "knowing" that permeated my entire being. I knew, that I knew, that I knew, that I would be back someday. I didn't know how or in what capacity--certainly not when--but I knew I would return.
I am excited--nay, elated--to report that after five years of loving and longing for Texas, I will be returning there shortly after New Year's! YAY!!! This is something for which I have longed and prayed and hoped, and I cannot express my excitement. I'll write more about my decision to return later, but for now it is enough to simply say, "I AM moving to Texas!"
May His holy name be praised.
I never wanted to go to the Honor Academy. I was terribly frightened as I walked away from my parents and friends to board the plane that day. I didn't think I could do it--didn't think I was capable of withstanding the physical exertion and level of discipline required at the HA. I thought only amazing, "super-Christians" would be able to succeed there and complete the program. It took the Lord hedging me in to get me to even apply, and it took more maneuvering on His part to get me there and keep me there, in the face of nearly constant financial difficulty. But stay the course I did, with His help and grace, and I found myself finishing what I had started that cold January morning.
The night of graduation, I chose to spend my last night ever in the dorm, sleeping one last time on my bed. I was alone--everyone else had left or joined their families in hotels. I didn't mind. I don't really remember what I did, only that my dad came to get me the next morning. We loaded up the last of my belongings into our little rental car (a new Ford Taurus with which I remain terribly unimpressed), I looked one last time around my room, and we walked out of Carey Hall, got in the car, and started the trek around the loop, stopping one last time to check out at the guardbooth before pulling onto the road and heading for the hotel in Lindale.
The one thing I remember most is the profound sense of "knowing" that permeated my entire being. I knew, that I knew, that I knew, that I would be back someday. I didn't know how or in what capacity--certainly not when--but I knew I would return.
I am excited--nay, elated--to report that after five years of loving and longing for Texas, I will be returning there shortly after New Year's! YAY!!! This is something for which I have longed and prayed and hoped, and I cannot express my excitement. I'll write more about my decision to return later, but for now it is enough to simply say, "I AM moving to Texas!"
May His holy name be praised.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Dear Sirs,
Yes, I am referring to you. You in the white early 90's model Chrysler minivan. You who honked at me to get my attention and then gave me a very, very cheesy "Heeeeeyyyy girrrrl!" smile and wave, at which point I switched immediately into "IGNORE!!!1!1!!1!" mode. While I appreciate the compliment--that you found me beautiful, or at least my face, at least in profile--I do not appreciate the manner in which you went about expressing your appreciation of my beauty. Such boldness, such a tactless approach, is not the way to win a lovely lady's heart. I assure you, I certainly never considered rolling down my window to "holla back" at you. The very manner in which you went about seeking my attention assured me at the outset that you are not the man for whom I have waited these past twenty-five years. I will certainly not cheapen the relationship experience with the likes of you--who cannot be bothered to know a woman's character before attempting to know her body.
I do hope, at some point, you come to a knowledge of our beautiful Saviour, and that you elect to serve Him all of your days. Until then, I bid thee [a hopefully permanent] farewell.
Sincerely,
One who shall not share with you her name.
I do hope, at some point, you come to a knowledge of our beautiful Saviour, and that you elect to serve Him all of your days. Until then, I bid thee [a hopefully permanent] farewell.
Sincerely,
One who shall not share with you her name.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
anger.
This year has been rough. It's been a difficult year that followed a more difficult year that followed a year that wasn't easy by any means. I'm tired of rough years. I'm ready for a little peace, for people my age to stop dying, for less drama, for less money problems, for less loneliness. Even if it was just for a year or two, just so I could have a little break from all this "hardness." I mean, I get that life is hard, but does it have to be that way all the freakin' time? Cause that's what it feels like it's been for the last several years. Just hard, hard, hard, hard, hard.
Last year was rough because of the challenges of several succeedingly intense semesters of school in a row, compounded with intense grief over the sudden, preventable loss of a friend, and battling feelings of inadequacy when placed in an unfamiliar position of leadership. This year was rough in a much different way.
This year, the Lord asked me to pursue several things which did not come to pass, and I began to doubt my ability to hear His voice clearly. This year, I watched people proclaiming their Christianity both get offended and stab their fellow believers in the back--and gossip shamelessly about the whole thing. This year, I watched up close the hypocrisy of someone who professes Christ while systematically abusing their spouse--mentally, emotionally, and worst of all, spiritually. This individual also treated myself and others like incompetent, idiotic fools. All of this combined made me angry, and I distanced myself from my beloved Jesus. I was afraid of being mistaken, of thinking I was hearing His voice when it was really my own desires being super-imposed over it. So I pulled away.
The first two situations were frustrating and angering, but the third...I have watched this situation from afar for several years, but having it so close at hand made it much more difficult to deal with. Before, I could sort of push it aside since it wasn't right in my face, but now? Not happening. I have never struggled so much in my life. Most days, I could have gleefully throttled the abusive individual. I've never been able to tolerate hypocrisy, and seeing how this individual used the word of God to manipulate others and abuse the spouse--who is someone close to me--made me so mad I wanted to cuss!
More recently, though this couple is divorcing, the abuser--who is so deceived they don't even recognize the hypocrisy of their behavior--has waged a smear campaign against the spouse, and worse, has helped create a serious rift in life-long relationships, causing damage that may never be undone. Some days I genuinely hate this individual--which causes me great difficulty. How can I proclaim to be a lover of Christ if I cannot love even an enemy? How can I ask the Lord's forgiveness if I am unwilling to forgive?
I waffle frequently between heartbreak and hatred--heartbreak at the damage being done; hatred for the one who caused it; heartbreak that this individual believes they have a guarantee of heaven when their behavior indicates it to be dubious at best; hatred for the one who has deceived this individual so. Watching Christians turn their back on and severely castigate the abused spouse has made me want to smack some people with a two-by-four. Seriously? Way to represent Christ, people. Way to go. When non-Christians are acting more like Christ than the Church, something is wrong with this picture. And this--the behavior of these Christians--makes me mad too! Because they, of all people, should know better than to treat ANYONE like an outcast. Makes me want to cuss.
I'm not proud of my response to so many things this year. I've battled a lot of shame. Shame that I couldn't seem to hear God's voice; shame that I could claim to love and yet feel hate for an individual; shame that I couldn't act more like Christ towards this person; shame that I could feel so intensely alone and uncared for, even when I know I'm loved. I've struggled not to step on over into self-condemnation. It has, frankly, been a pretty horrendous year overall.
I haven't written much because frankly, I didn't have much to say that wasn't pretty ugly or depressing or whatever. I don't like to burden others with my problems, and I didn't want to provide more fodder for the gossip mill, but the silence has become suffocating, and I won't keep quiet anymore. Said abusive individual needs to be outed for for the farce they are, and I need an outlet for my anger before I can begin to forgive. And I think it all boils down to needing to forgive Christians for treating other believers so awfully. And I have forgiven, and I will forgive, but it still makes me angry whenever I think about it, and then I have to forgive again. And I need to be able to lay my broken, hurting heart at the feet of Jesus, and let Him make me whole again.
So that's where I am right now. The end of 2010 finds me having battled anger, bitterness, hatred, frustration, loneliness, and shame on a level I never have before. With the coming of 2011, I hope to be moving past that--because I have to let go of that stuff to make room for new things. Out with the old, in with the new!
Jesus, help me let go of the anger, the hatred, the bitterness. I want to forgive this person but every time I do, they do something new and it happens all over again! I want this person revealed for who they truly are, and for the Christians to realize and be ashamed of their behavior in supporting this person's chicanery. I want to forgive them for the part they've played. Help me not to take things in my own hands, and help me to see this individual as You do. I don't think I'm quite ready yet to love them as You love. But someday, maybe.
<3 love, Beth.
Last year was rough because of the challenges of several succeedingly intense semesters of school in a row, compounded with intense grief over the sudden, preventable loss of a friend, and battling feelings of inadequacy when placed in an unfamiliar position of leadership. This year was rough in a much different way.
This year, the Lord asked me to pursue several things which did not come to pass, and I began to doubt my ability to hear His voice clearly. This year, I watched people proclaiming their Christianity both get offended and stab their fellow believers in the back--and gossip shamelessly about the whole thing. This year, I watched up close the hypocrisy of someone who professes Christ while systematically abusing their spouse--mentally, emotionally, and worst of all, spiritually. This individual also treated myself and others like incompetent, idiotic fools. All of this combined made me angry, and I distanced myself from my beloved Jesus. I was afraid of being mistaken, of thinking I was hearing His voice when it was really my own desires being super-imposed over it. So I pulled away.
The first two situations were frustrating and angering, but the third...I have watched this situation from afar for several years, but having it so close at hand made it much more difficult to deal with. Before, I could sort of push it aside since it wasn't right in my face, but now? Not happening. I have never struggled so much in my life. Most days, I could have gleefully throttled the abusive individual. I've never been able to tolerate hypocrisy, and seeing how this individual used the word of God to manipulate others and abuse the spouse--who is someone close to me--made me so mad I wanted to cuss!
More recently, though this couple is divorcing, the abuser--who is so deceived they don't even recognize the hypocrisy of their behavior--has waged a smear campaign against the spouse, and worse, has helped create a serious rift in life-long relationships, causing damage that may never be undone. Some days I genuinely hate this individual--which causes me great difficulty. How can I proclaim to be a lover of Christ if I cannot love even an enemy? How can I ask the Lord's forgiveness if I am unwilling to forgive?
I waffle frequently between heartbreak and hatred--heartbreak at the damage being done; hatred for the one who caused it; heartbreak that this individual believes they have a guarantee of heaven when their behavior indicates it to be dubious at best; hatred for the one who has deceived this individual so. Watching Christians turn their back on and severely castigate the abused spouse has made me want to smack some people with a two-by-four. Seriously? Way to represent Christ, people. Way to go. When non-Christians are acting more like Christ than the Church, something is wrong with this picture. And this--the behavior of these Christians--makes me mad too! Because they, of all people, should know better than to treat ANYONE like an outcast. Makes me want to cuss.
I'm not proud of my response to so many things this year. I've battled a lot of shame. Shame that I couldn't seem to hear God's voice; shame that I could claim to love and yet feel hate for an individual; shame that I couldn't act more like Christ towards this person; shame that I could feel so intensely alone and uncared for, even when I know I'm loved. I've struggled not to step on over into self-condemnation. It has, frankly, been a pretty horrendous year overall.
I haven't written much because frankly, I didn't have much to say that wasn't pretty ugly or depressing or whatever. I don't like to burden others with my problems, and I didn't want to provide more fodder for the gossip mill, but the silence has become suffocating, and I won't keep quiet anymore. Said abusive individual needs to be outed for for the farce they are, and I need an outlet for my anger before I can begin to forgive. And I think it all boils down to needing to forgive Christians for treating other believers so awfully. And I have forgiven, and I will forgive, but it still makes me angry whenever I think about it, and then I have to forgive again. And I need to be able to lay my broken, hurting heart at the feet of Jesus, and let Him make me whole again.
So that's where I am right now. The end of 2010 finds me having battled anger, bitterness, hatred, frustration, loneliness, and shame on a level I never have before. With the coming of 2011, I hope to be moving past that--because I have to let go of that stuff to make room for new things. Out with the old, in with the new!
Jesus, help me let go of the anger, the hatred, the bitterness. I want to forgive this person but every time I do, they do something new and it happens all over again! I want this person revealed for who they truly are, and for the Christians to realize and be ashamed of their behavior in supporting this person's chicanery. I want to forgive them for the part they've played. Help me not to take things in my own hands, and help me to see this individual as You do. I don't think I'm quite ready yet to love them as You love. But someday, maybe.
<3 love, Beth.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)