Texas

I haven’t written since I got to Texas (except in my journal). It’s been a rough journey, and for a while the only words I had to write were not ones I wished to share. Things haven’t turned out anything like I hoped or expected. In some ways, they’ve been worse, but in other ways, they’ve been so much better. The Lord is teaching me, expecting me, forcing me to trust Him for provision, for my care. Each time I needed somewhere to go, He’s opened a place for me. When I was at the breaking point of either getting a job or going back to North Carolina, He provided one. It wasn’t what I wanted, but it’s what I needed, and I’m there for this time for a purpose. He is so good!

The last four months have been a bumpy road through intense discouragement and disappointment and frustration, but they have also been characterized by the budding of new friendships, a newfound family, and learning to trust the Lord in new, unique ways. Even in the hardest moments, when I wished for the security of what I left behind and struggled against the temptation to return to that, I knew I was where I was meant to be, and I didn’t want to leave.

I certainly don’t know the fullness of the purposes for which the Lord called me here to Texas, but I don’t want to leave until every bit of it has been fulfilled. Whether that means staying here for a few months, a few years, or the rest of my life remains to be seen, but my stubborn self is planted here and not budging till it’s time to go. I don’t know what next week looks like, or next month, and certainly not next year, but…judging from the last few years, if I knew what was coming, I’d probably run away and hide. : ) I haven’t liked much of the last few months, but you know what? Things are getting better, they will get better, and I’m not going anywhere. As long as the Lord keeps opening doors, I’m here to stay.

love, Beth.