change of plans

So back in October, I signed on with Global Expeditions to go to *ahem* the Middle East. After looking forward to this for months, the B trip, which I was planning to go on, had to be cancelled. So I took a few days to pray and think and finally settled on Uganda. The last several weeks have been so busy I've been unable to do any fundraising, but I do need about $4,000 for this trip. In Uganda, Global Expeditions plans to do AIDS/HIV awareness education for part of the time, and for the other part of the trip, they plan to travel to northern Uganda to bring hope to the broken, hurting children who were once part of Joseph Kony's Lord's Resistance Army (LRA). The LRA has held central Africa in its grip of terror for a good twenty years or better and has resorted to "recruiting" children (by kidnapping) for its fighting forces because their souls are thought to be purer than those of adults. Now that the LRA has been driven from Uganda, there are many hearts and lives to be put back together and healed. I have long had a heart for slaves, prostitutes, and child soldiers, so Uganda would seem a natural fit for me.

This past Saturday, I drove 2+ hours (on three hours of sleep, mind you) to Greensboro for the TrueNorth Leadership Seminar. I had the opportunity to be interviewed by my Project Director from my Panama trip in 2004, the trip on which the Lord captured my heart for the nations and the people of this world (and on which I left a piece of my heart in a little village named Santa Clara with the beautiful Panamanian people). Tuesday I received a call asking me if I'd be interested in being a Country Assistant on this summer's Panama B trip! I love Panama dearly and I do desire strongly to return to this land that captivated my heart so long ago.

I write all this to say that I honestly don't know what to do! Either way, I've got fundraising to do, but since my Father can bring all that money in with one fell swoop, I am not particularly concerned about the finances. Being a CA would mean more behind-the-scenes work rather than active ministry, but would be a great opportunity to experience how the trips work. On the other hand, I LOVE being a Missionary Advisor and having the opportunity to disciple the missionaries in my care. I also love playing with the kids wherever I go. :) My heart does, of course, long to return to Panama-but I have long desired to go to Uganda as well. I am confident that the Lord orders my steps and I pray He will guide me in making a decision here-if what He wants for me is to be an MA in Uganda, that's where I'll be. If what he wants is for me to be a CA in Panama, I shall be picking up some molas and Kuna bracelets this summer. :)

If you would, please pray for me as I attempt to make this decision (it is always difficult for me to make decisions when I want both options so badly!). I want nothing less than God's best for me, wherever and whatever that may be.

In Him,

Bethany